A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Months ago, i found in my boyfriends room, cards and photos from his previous relationship. I asked him why did he keep them and he said "to remember the good memories". This hurt a lot but he eventually threw them away. He reasoning later was that he was scared of us not lasting. About a week ago, i was looking around his room innocently again and found 2 cards from her. He says he must have over looked them and that if he did keep them, why did he put them in such an obvious place?. I accepted this and was just thinking a few minutes ago that all the cards and stuff were in a box... So either somehow he is telling the truth or, he actually took them out of the box and kept them. I don't know what to think!Thank you for reading.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): It is better to know that he kept it in a box where no one else will actually see them. Sad to hear these stories. I am also in the same situation right now. But my problem is he posted it in his blog. With all the events and the comments, etc. His ex went their to check it out and leave a comment saying "Memories of the past. I just love reading this. Will you still keep it?" and he replied saying "Do you still feel it Daisy? :)"He is flirting and I couldn't believe it! I hated him for that. I also hate the fact that people will actually read everything from his past. Is he proud of those crap? Still, he is hurting me though. But I didn't say anything about it. I know it is his life and whatever secrets his been keeping for a while now, I know in the end I will be victorious. I leave it everything by itself, whether he is telling me the truth or telling me his lies. My instincts is telling me he is lying. But I will never confront him. He will just taste the dose of his own medicine. Hurting other people is not a good idea. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your comments!
Some think it's okay and some don't think it's okay to keep memories. From what you are all saying is that it depends on why he has kept them. I don't believe he keep them because he wasn't over her. I do feel bad after what i've done after reading what Rob-x wrote. I should have let him deal with them how he wanted.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): I think,when something is over,it is over.... The only reason to keep things from past,if we have some attachment to it.I think ,if it is an ex wife,who died,or mother of kids ,than it is k, you can't leave this behind.... But the rest, ,I think should go. It is really weird to look at pictures at ex romances...Not healthy.Like are you the next in the album?
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female
reader, Brooklyngirl  +, writes (31 December 2009):
 I personally NEVER get rid of pictures from my past relationships! The are part of my history, and if anyone suggested I "toss" them, I would say No! I do not keep them out in the open...they are boxed and put away...but I wouldn't get rid of them. Some day when I am gone...my kids can decide which one's they want to keep and which they want to toss...until then, they stay with me! I also have cards from my previous (deceased) ex husband. Those too, are boxed away.Memories are very important to me. There may come a time when all I have are memories to keep me company!
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (31 December 2009):
 Personally, I think it is wrong of anyone to ask another to throw away mementos from past relationships.
Until such a time as you make a serious commitment (like marriage, a commitment to having children, or building a life together) such a request is not earned.
If the two of you break up for any reason, say in the next 6 months, he is really going to resent you for his giving up his mementos for you.
-Frank
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (31 December 2009):
I think he was telling you the truth. Some people keep photos and such of ex's because of memories and to be fair he has thrown all those other cards away and is with you. However, clearly if you find something else you'll know he isn't over her. but I don't think you really have to worry.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 December 2009):
 I understand why you'd feel upset that he has postcards and such, but are you really so upset over souvenirs that he kept of them or are you simply jealous that he had other girlfriends? This isn't a "get over it" situation. It's actually very common to feel jealous of previous lovers. I'd be lying if I said I haven't ever felt jealous of an ex. It's happened a lot really! Will him throwing out the letters really help anything though? The fact that he willingly threw away something very precious to him shows that he cares about YOU! However, it's not a porn stash, it's not him calling or texting them, it's him just hanging onto something that reminds him of happy memories. They're just that though. Memories. I really doubt he'd lie about keeping two cards. This isn't really a problem with that though is it? We all feel pangs of something when we find out our current partner has ever felt happiness with other people, but remember, that was before he met you. I would ease up about the letters if they're from his past. Even if he throws out the letters, he's still had past girlfriends. They're still going to be in his memory forever. And forcing him to throw out letters will just make him resent you.
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reader, Rob-x-x-x +, writes (31 December 2009):
hello, when you love someone it is so hard to forget them. just because your boyfriend has kept memorbale souvernirs of her doesnt mean to say he still loves her, it just means he wants to keep the objects that remind him of some of the best moments of his life. you need to stop worrying about the stuff he has kept from when he was dating her and you also need to stop pressurising him into getting rid of these objects because when you lose someone you love no matter what the circumstances were you deal with it in your own way and his way is obviously trying to forget all the bad times and arguments with his ex by keeping the things that made his relationship good. forget about these little objects because i can assure you they wont affect his love for you unless you keep going on about them.
i dont mean to sound harsh to you at all but its just the way life is. and think about it, if you ever brake up i am sure he will keep memorable objects that you both shared together.
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female
reader, lillian998 +, writes (31 December 2009):
 I don't think you have anything to worry about. It sounds like he listened to you and got rid of them knowing they bothered you. And so what if he did purposely hang on to some of them...if you feel he is committed to you, you have nothing to worry about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): i keep souveniers from my ex valentines cards music presents its normal i dont love my current bf less coz of it just like it doesnt mean he loves you any less you obviously dont trust you're boyfriend coz you were looking round his room and how you can be doing it innocently is beyond me. it was mean of you to make him throw away memories from his past if you were in your boyfriends place you'd hate it and you'd be annoyed if he asked you to throw stuff away.
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