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writes: Help....I'm confused.I really need some advie from anyone so any comments would be greatly appreciated.I have a boyfriend who I have been with for nearly 3 years. However, 8 months ago i finished with him as I didn't feel fulfilled i.e. not particularly romantic etc. We did end up getting back together about 1-2 months later, but during the split I met a guy. We had a bit of a fling and it was great, but he was quite flippant about things so although we had a laugh I was a bit all over the place. Since I have got back with my boyfriend I have thought about the other man on and off. Lastnight I had a naughty dream about this other man and now I can't stop thinking about him. I've even spoken to him on the phone and he wants to go for a drink. I feel all over the place again and don't really know what i'm feeling. I love my boyfriend but sometimes feel the excitement has gone...but is that just because we have been together so long? please help...:o( Reply to this Question
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reader, daughteroflilith +, writes (21 June 2006):
i am in exactly the same situation right now, but i keep asking myself what if i were to go with the other guy? Do you think three years down the line with him that it would be full of exitement or is this just a pipe dream? maybe i'm wrong and you can be like that with someone for a really long time but i reckon once you got to know the new guy better you won't have the excitement either. Maybe for both you and me it just isn't time to settle down and we need the excitement, but on the other hand are you willing to give up the love of your life for a bit of fun, is it worth it? if you answer yes to this then maybe you're right to think twice about your relationship
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2006): You haven't mentioned any thing about you and your boyfriend talking about your concerns and trying to do any thing about it?You've spent three years of your life with this guy, it would be worth knowing you at least tried before ending the relationship.Tell your boyfriend what is missing, and what you want. Perhaps he is unhappy too, and feels there are problems?If you have both tried to make it work, but you are still unhappy, at least you can move on from your relationship without any regret.
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reader, Eddiezbabygurl67 +, writes (20 June 2006):
 well.....i wanna help..i love helping people at school they call me Dr.Laura Jr. lol, but lets see, you feel like your between a rock and a hard place.not a cool thing to say on this one..srry....ok....anyway, i think the reason he may not "be exciting" anymore is because your used to the other guy, and if you really love you boyfriend you would control you thoughts about that other guy.i mean what if you were him....and you found out he still has feelings for his "ex" i mean u wouldnt like that so what makes you think he would, and if you keep having those dreams and keep just thinking about him and how your bf isnt up to ur "flings" ...uuh potential i guess you'd call it, his leval maybe, and your not gonna doanything about it and ur just gonna wonder why he's so boring then maybe you shouldnt be with him because it just seems like your leading him on then your gonna be fighting about why he's not exciting and doesnt fulfil ur wants and desires, honestly i dont see how you could be doing this, if your not over that person why get back with your boyfriend unless your really trying to forget about the other one, and if you are, DONT COMPARE THE TWO taht just makes it worse silly.....im not really sure what to tell you on this one..im extreeeemely sorry, but yeah, uum....i hope all is well and everything works out for the best :) all my wishes to you! :)Jess
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