A
female
age
30-35,
*issdaisy
writes:My boyfriend is too over protective. He needs to know where I am every minute of the day. Im with him everyday of the week. He gets mad if I even go somewhere with my friends or family. Im not aloud to text/talk on the phone while Im with him. He dosent like it when I wear anything new when im without him because he likes to be the first one to see it. He calls my skirts too shorts and scolds me for them (they are below my finger tips.) I dont know what to do. What can I do to make him give me a little freedom?
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female
reader, 113094eva +, writes (2 June 2010):
Well my boyfriend was n still is kinda the same but the thing is that he gets to do whatever he wants n when I want to do it he doesn't let me. I just let him know how I feel n he understands somewhat so just tekl him how u feel then he will lighten up on u: )
A
male
reader, oldsoul78 +, writes (10 October 2008):
Control freak... been there, done that and I was the jerk doing it. :( I will tell ya first hand, i straightened up this idiotic behavior IMMEDIATELY, once she left me. If he really cares about you, and i mean REALLY cares, try not being around for a while. Have some "ME" time where you're not with him. Plan a night out with your parents if you have to where he's not invited just get a breath in there.
As far as the clothes thing goes... its NOT about him seeing it first... its about him having a say in what you wear (again the control freak thing) It's also about you dressing "slutty" and his insecurity with "his" girl being the object of attention from other guys. Its viewed as a threat. I know you want to make yourself look "good" and feel good about yourself, and you absolutely should have a final say in what you wear but try and see it from that other perspective. I'd be willing to bet he's not giving you the attention you want and subconsciously you're looking for that attention else where, in plain sight of him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): Hi Miss Daisy, It sounds as though your boyfriend is possessive rather than protective. Why does he need to know your movements? Why does he 'get mad' when you go somewhere with your friends and family? You're allowed. Surely you should be able to do that without a negative reaction. He is not your father. Why aren't you allowed to take a quick call while with him. Suppose there was an emergency and he didn't 'allow' you to use the phone, how would you both feel? He wants to be the first one to see your new outfits and 'scolds' you about your hemlines OMG! Control freak alert! You're asking what you can do to make him give you a 'little' more freedom? This guy sounds like a controlling insecure boy. You probably like/love him a lot and want to keep him but it'll only get worse. Please assert yourself or you will be controlled by this guy and he will isolate you from your friends and family. Hang out with your friends sometimes. There are seven days in a week, you don't have to see him everyday. Are you 'allowed' to hang out with your guy friends and/or friends he doesn't like? It is sad but he sounds really insecure and jealous, and that will inevitably show more if it hasn't already, with verbal abuse and maybe physical violence. I bet when he upsets you with a putdown he's always really sorry and then sweet for a couple of days. Please be careful, pretty soon you'll be engaged then married and then they'll be no escape. Think of yourself girl, you're too young to be tied down by this guy. If you're sleeping with him I would be extra careful about birth control, just in case he purposely damages the condom or pressures you not to use one. Then you'll realiy be trapped. Remember you have control of your life not him. Take care of yourself and Good Luck.
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