A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Here's the thing - my boyfriend is great but....he's rubbish at giving me oral sex! I've tried giving him subtle pointers but he just seems to ignore them, and then gets annoyed when he can't please me. I dont want to take oral sex off the menu, but as it stands he does more to turn me off than turn me on. What can I do?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2012): Just give him instructions when he's down there but as person12345 said do it in a sexy or commanding way and don't get pissed off if he moves on just tell him to go back to doing that.
"Stay on my clit, lick it harder, swirl your tongue clockwise, lick my vulva like a hungry puppy, keep doing that, that's awesome, that feels great when you do that" etc.
Stop being a flake about it, he's supposed to be giving you pleasure so command him. You can either do it softly or be forceful whichever you think will work better and excite him more. I personally always worked off physical and audio reactions as my cues to whether a certain thing was working but some girls love to bark out orders and that is fun as hell being ordered around like that, others like to give soft instructions.
OP he's a guy he shouldn't be some soft sensitive guy about his oral technique he shouldn't get defensive when you simply ask him to do a certain thing while he's down there and he most likely won't. I mean you're taking all the guess work out of it and telling him exactly how you like it done. That's never a bad thing.
But it's important that you know your vagina well enough to know what works. If you don't know what gets you off then you can't exactly tell him how. If that's the case then you need to spend an evening exploring yourself and experimenting.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (7 October 2012):
 If he won't take subtle hints, be less subtle. Just tell him outright what you need. Say it in a "sexy voice" but tell him directly. If you like a specific move say, "I would love it if you did _____." I agree with YouWish, never compare things to previous guys. Even if Steve or whoever did this amazing move, don't say it was Steve, just say you there is a move you would love.
But definitely a good plan not to fake it, because then he really won't know what to do. He'll think he's doing it when he's not.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 October 2012):
 You're right not to fake things to assuage his ego, and it's his ego that gets him annoyed.
How are you giving him pointers? And, can you give yourself an orgasm? Are there other ways besides oral that he can please you?
I think you should have a talk with him about it outside the bedroom. Don't rely on "subtle pointers" when it comes to communicating about sex. Tell him about the things he does well and that you like from him. Tell him HOW he can please you more. Take some time when you tell him.
Above all, do not compare him to past relationships. Especially, do NOT tell him about the way guys in the past used to do things.
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A
male
reader, ulick  +, writes (7 October 2012):
 Well just tell him instead of giving pointers. The sooner the better as he will feel bad that he had been not good so many times.
Can you tell me how you give the subtle pointer? Just in case I have been getting them and not realizing!!!!!
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