A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:well recently I browsed through his chatlogs, out of curiosity and after that, he confessed that he made me seem demanding behind my back to all of his friends, but not on purpose.I only read one of the conversations he had with a mutual friend(co-worker) of us. Me and my boyfriend are also working for this same company. She asked him how he was doing and he replied: "I miss my family.. It's the same as usual.. gf gf gf gf gf -_- I rarely have dinners at home with my parent's anymore!" Then she asked whether he still liked to hang out with me or not. He replied: "She is a nag! she looks dismal/emo. Dont you think so? e.g. today, she got angry for no reason. I dont wanna talk about her." Luckily she didnt agee with the looking ugly part.He also confessed that he was telling his friends and family personal things about me which I told him to keep secret.I am very hurt because he always appeared happy around me and everything seemed fine.. I never forced him to hang out with me! This came quite as a shock. I feel BETRAYED. I cannot trust him with personal things without having to worry that he would tell everyone about it! I worry if he would talk bad about me behind my back! IT'S THE SECOND TIME! He was badmouthing me before! About me being a chainsmoking gambler to all of his friends, I dont even know!?!?! I am not a chainsmoking gambler! I gambled a few times for fun! that's it! He apologized to me, bought flowers and I forgave him.When I confronted him he said that he couldn't help it and he just spilled my personal things out! He talked bad about me behind my back, because he was scared that I would get angry if he told me personally. And if I wasn't suffocating him he wouldn't have said this to her! (I didnt know that he felt suffocated at that time!)I had a big fight with him and he promised not to talk bad about me behind my back again etc.. I agreed with giving him his space. But I have doubts about this relationship....... He does treat me like a princess whenever we are together, almost perfect. He has put a lot of effort and time in this relationship. He says he loves me and wants me to be happy. He cried when we almost broke-up because of this. BUT.. SHOULD I BREAK-UP WITH HIM?? Give him a 3rd chance? Putting up an act while bashing me in front of his friends and family, how can he love me? We are only together for 3 months! I don't think I deserve his bad-mouthing. Me and my family were very nice to him.. He had dinners at my house and was always welcome and made himself at home. What do you think?Thank you for reading this long story and your opinion! Sorry for any misspells.. I am not a native english speaker.. Love,
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female
reader, Tann79  +, writes (1 April 2016):
I'm going through the same thing with my boyfriend of 4.5 mths except that he's not only talking behind my back to his friends and family. He's also over yakking about me to people I don't get along with as well as my friends! It's real harsh! I know it should be over. I wish I didn't have such a tough time leaving the relationship!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): When it gets to the point where your bf is badmouthing you to another female then you know for sure that he is cheating on you.
Tell him its over! Then if you know who the woman is... call her and tell her she can have him...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): DUMP HIM He already had two chances and you cani trust him anymore, like he took badmouthing to the extreme (He sounds like he is bitching like you say about someone that you really hate NOT discussing your relationship with friends) and he is telling people stuff about your relationship which should be private, who knows wat else in the future he mite tell.Your definately better off without him, your only together 3 months and he is causing all this bother definately better off without him, i would tell him trust is important and you dont trust him anymore and he has had one chance too many and let him cry cause you need a man not a boy lol So hopefully it helps, Cause at the end of the day its your choice,but remember there is plenty more guys out there lol
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar  +, writes (13 August 2009):
 There is a big big difference between having a rational discussion with friends about the issues in your relationship, and bad mouthing your partner to anyone who will listen. He falls into the latter category.To be perfectly honest, he seems like a spineless idiot, looking for sympathy and validation from other people. I would be quite interested in his relationship with the female co-worker - in my experience when a boyfriend is putting you down to another female, ESPECIALLY the way you look, it is when there is an interest there.I do not think he deserves a third chance, he was lucky to get a second. To discuss you like that with other people is very rude, not to mention petty. Your boyfriend is supposed to be the person that will stick up for you above anything, not the person bringing you down in front of everyone else.
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