A
female
age
41-50,
*sland214
writes:I hurt my boyfriends pride yesterday by paying a bill for him to help him out with money. We have been dating for 7 years and do not live together. He will not talk to me now because I hurt his pride. How long do I let him be mad before I really start pushing for him to get over this? I am 28 and he is 32.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): I am 58 and for all those years have suffered from my husbands sulking nature. I thought I was the only one till I read all these replies and felt a bit better.
I have been on the verge of separation literally every day but for the sake of my children I could not take a stand. Even if I did or still do, I am pretty sure he is always going to blame me for that breakup and would never realise the torture, the humiliation and the agony I underwent because of his mighty brhaviour.
I have come to the conclusion that such people have mental disorders and could be genetic and they can not face failure . They are narcissists and they think that they are superhumans in their own eyes. If one does not have the courage to breakup then best bit is to leave them alone and let them be their own masters. I am sure who so ever replied would agree that the husbands never face compunction and are never in the wrong. It is we the sufferers who have to bear the brunt of their misbehaviour.
Think positive, keep your cool and leave the rest to Allah The Almighty, may be one day a miracle will happen, InsAllah.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 April 2008):
 Let him sulk all he wants.
He is just being immature and ungrateful.
Your kinds deed are unappreciated.
If after 7 years and he still cannot understand you ,
then there is not much to say about your relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): I think "Ask oldersister" and "Irish49" are right, something else is going on. I will take a quick stab and ask if he might feel that your always taking control and not letting him do it his own way. I might be out in left field, but I wonder why this one thing set him off.
Pushing him to get over it may not be a good idea. If the above comment is correct, then you both really need some serious alone time discussing feelings. If you do, be compassionate and understanding and caring for his feelings. This is a moment that can hurt the relationship more by not accepting his feelings, or bond you two at the hip, strengthenng the relationship where your both happier. Just a thought.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): I agree...something much more is happening here to cause such an over-reaction from him. Listen, We all make little mistakes., in the quest to do loving things, for our loved ones. Maybe, we don't always act from understanding, but this was a helpful, kind gesture you made to help him. I could understand a minor frustration or a slighted annoyance but to not talk to you, over this! That is ridiculous. You acted with sincere and good intentions and now you are suffering as a result of that goodness. He using this incident to knock you off balance and you need to find out why. I suggest you sit him down and get this talked over and find out why he is doing this to you. He is taking this incident, way too far. Be strong, dear and get talking to this guy. Something else is going on here in this relationship, that needs hashing out. Take care.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 April 2008):
 Hi there,
as a guy it annoys me when I see other guys behave like this. As it makes us all seem like pathetic little alpha males who need to be the dominant ape in the family.
In your situation I would tell him to grow up and stop being a dickhead . And if he can't handle it when the person he is supposed to love helps him out then he obviously doesnt have much respect for you as an equal.
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (1 April 2008):
 ur not a real man til u have lost ur first fight! and ur not a real man until uve learned to accept the help from a female partner. it takes two. and sounds hes kinda traditional. but, hes got to learn u two have to share eachothers burdens. 7 yrs is a tremendously long time to be with someone,if he cant handle a " once in a blue moon"
helping hand now, what will happen if u 2 vmarry?
u need to have this conversation with him, it seems hes been sulking enough, and if u let him, he will drag it on for another....? he needs to mature a little and realize hes not less of a man for taking the help, just as ur not less of a woman for allowing him to help u. therefore, i hope u will bring forth to him these words of wisdom, because no doubt there will be plenty more times where these situAtions will happen, and if he cant see ur not just his gf, but his partner in life, his best friend, his lover, his everything, then i think hes got soem issues that need to be addressed! good luck dear.
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