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My Boyfriend is Shy and I'm Disappointed

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Question - (21 September 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 21 September 2009)
A female Malaysia age 30-35, *ana93 writes:

This guy confessed to me few months ago. I liked him too but I felt insecure because as friends you feel fine but after romance comes in the awkwardness and shyness might ruin it. We're both from single-sex schools. I'm his first girl. We've only met a few times but we chat 24/7 really mushily. He's very serious and committed while I have a bit of commitment phobia.I also don't believe in forever while he does.

Today I went out with my friends and he was there too. He seemed like he didn't want to find me and I was a little angry because no matter how shy and nervous I am I wouldn't pretend he didn't exist. But he did when I got mad and he was so shy! I mean, I expected it but I had high expectations. I'm shy but he's more shy!

He was very very quiet all along and I was talking. I don't mind that so much because I love to talk but he was walking a distance from me and it was awkward and he kept looking away from me. he didn't even touch me. He was shy and like avoiding me. Finally before we were leaving, as a last ditch attempt I grabbed his arm and squeezed it. I feel so embarrassed now that I think of it. I mean, an awkward squeeze? I feel so mortified.

I don't know what to do now. I feel so stupid and dumb. I can understand he's shy but still, I feel so disappointed. I'm an old-fashioned girl. He says he loves me like crazy (he does because he won't stop talking about me) but he treats me like less than a friend. Maybe it's too early to tell? Maybe I should go out more?

Can you guys help me? Has this happened to you before? If so, can you share with me to make me feel better?

View related questions: insecure, shy

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (21 September 2009):

I'm not sure he's actually mature enough for a relationship at this moment. That's probably because he comes from a single sex school, so hasn't had that much experience with girls. He shouldn't be ignoring you though. I would sit him down and speak to him about what both you and he want from this relationship, because it doens't sound like it's going that far. Hope that helps.

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