A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my boyfriend and i have been together for almost a year now and have known each other for 3 yrs, my question is that he doesn`t want me sleeping at his place more then maybe 1 or 2 nights a month if that, this has been happening for a couple of months now, i am upset because i think when together you need that alone time,i have talked to him over and over and we have even had a huge fight over it, one issue he has is that he`s afraid the more i sleep over and the more we have sex that i might get pregnant, which neither of us want children so he is pushing me away even though for the first 7 months of the relationship was great we used to spend 3 to 4 nights a week together and have sex often, i don`t understand why he is pushing me away now? i have endometriosis and pcos and i`m on the birth control but it`s still not good enough, he still thinks that the only way that we won`t end up with a child is if we hardly sleep together, i love this man with all my heart i just want to be with him can any give me some advice? talking to him doesn`t seem to help for very long and i don`t want another fight.
View related questions:
want children Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (20 September 2010):
Hello again. Maybe his biggest problem is that he's afraid that if you do fall pregnant, that financially it would be very difficult for you both.
There's no doubt it does affect the money situation, but if otherwise you both get along pretty well, then maybe he could start using condoms every time you have sex. That will take the pressure off him of worrying about you getting pregnant.
Sometimes to use condoms may seem to reduce the spontaneity a bit, but it would certainly avoid the stress of the changes in your lives that a pregnancy would certainly bring. Especially, as you have said that you both don't want to have children anyway.
It seems like the only solution really.
It would certainly improve your relationship if the risk of pregnancy is taken right out of the equation altogether.
Hope this further helps you. Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice Dorothy, i do appreciate it but i do need to add that i don`t see my boyfriend everyday i see him once during the week and on the weekend, we spend time at his shop, he uses this as his hang out he has a basement apartment, so i`m hardly ever even at his place except for the once in a while he may ask me over, i used to see him alot and now i see him much less.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (18 September 2010):
Hi there. Maybe, don't sleep at his place at all. Just go out, but don't sleep over.You can still have a relationship without sleeping over all the time.Just take it slowly, and don't push things otherwise it would be another fight. It's really too small an issue to argue over.When you have been out together on a date, just ask him to take you home. Then let him call you during the week.It's possible that maybe you see each other too often. If it's every day, that's probably too often. How about just leaving it to seeing each other only on the weekends. But don't sleep over even then, simply ask him to take you home, kiss him goodnight and get out of the car.Just keep it simple and back off a bit. Perhaps he's feeling a bit stifled. It is necessary to have some time away from each other. Seeing each other every single day and every night, would be just too much. No personal space.Everyone needs their space. It's vital.Take it easy from now on and it will all work itself out, I'm sure.Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
...............................
|
