A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone!Well i have posted questions on here before and youve always been really great help.This isnt really a huge problem, not compared to others and i guess this is kind of silly.Well im sitting my A levels and so ive now officially left school, so i now have four months of free time on my hands. The problem is my boyfriends parents are treating him like a little child, i know we have to revise as this is an important time but our exams dont start for 3 weeks and his mum and dad have banned him from seeing me until the exams are finished, so i havent seen him for the last two weeks.I guess the main problem is im not coping too well with the situation, its not that i cant cope without him, im just really frustrated with how he isnt even allowed to see me for an hour. We spend most of the time down my house and my mum knows where in a sexual relationship and so on as you would expect with two seventeen year olds that have been with each other for two years! But his mum and dad dont, they seem oblivious to it, as if we have one of those relationships like when your ten and you change boyfriends now and then.We usually see each other every day so its a huge difference now, and i do not expect him too see me everyday at all just an hour or two together maybe?Well i had some of his stuff so i turned up at his house today to give it him uninvivted (risky i no!) but his mum let me see him for about half an hour.Its just now its kind of hitting me i have another four weeks to go through like this, and i dont know what to do, i keep causing arguments with him to grow a backbone and ask to be let out, he cant be kept hostage can he! This is one of the toughest things weve been tested with and i no we'll get through it i just would appreciate a bit of guidance from people who have experienced a loved one going away.Thank you xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): Hmmm good luck with this one, it is hard when parents are fussy, but really unless your bf has the balls to stand up to them there is not a lot you can do. Work hard play hard, and fingers crossed you get lots of revision time in and get good exam results.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (21 May 2009):
 Hi there!
Right, I am going to sit on the fence a bit with this one. I know how tough it must be for you, having been together every day, and now being kept apart. I have been there, and yes it is difficult, but you get on with it. BUT....I also know from previous experience that having a boy around distracts you from work. Your mind is not focussed on the job in hand, which at this moment in time, are your exams, and for now these HAVE to be more important. Relationships are all about dealing with changes. The ups and downs, the distances, the closeness. These things happen in relationships where you are parted from your other half for a small period of time. Yes it sucks, but you just have to get on with it. I havn't seen my man since last week, and I probably wont see him again until next week. He has a very difficult job, and I have to be understanding that he IS NOT at my beck and call - not because he doesnt want to, but because he cant, and has more important things to be doing. It makes the times when we are together for long periods more special.
What I do think you should consider here are the implications of you not coping with not seeing him every day. Now, your A levels are important. These are the building blocks for your future. I assume you are going to University in the Autumn? Are you both planning on going to the same one? Have you thought about what might happen if you dont get in to the same uni? Could you cope with only seeing him at weekends/holidays/when you can get time?
University places depend on grades, and if he is too busy concentrating on you and not on his exams, he could be jeopardising his place. Would you want to ruin his chances, just because YOU HAVE TO SEE HIM RIGHT NOW. Maybe he wants to focus and study and is scared to tell you? Maybe he needs time and space to concentrate?
You have four whole months with no school! Thats four whole months to spend together with your boyfriend. Maybe his parents are trying to help him, by taking distraction and temptation out of his way. I know it may seem a little harsh, but would you rather he threw away good grades, because he was thinking about what he had been doing to you the previous night? HE could be risking a University place.
You need to back off for now, and try and work out so you can see him a couple of times a week AT THE MOST. The exams are only going to last another month or so - is that really such a long time?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 May 2009):
These are pretty important exams and I don't care if you having sex... he needs to stay in and study.
Has it occurs to you that he might want to do as well as he can so he can have the best career he can to provide for you???
I know it SUCKS when your boyfriend goes away. I'm an army wife and my hubbie goes away for months at a time.
Stop being a pain and be supportive. Leave him to his studies and go out with your friends and fill your time till he can come out again. It will pass faster if you stop picking arguments and do something else to fill the days.
Find something in your life that needs doing and will take a month and do it.
Now your exams are over you could go through your room and redecorate it so it's a more adult and romantic place for him to come and visit when he can.
Get some interior design magazines and have a look round B and Q.
Good Luck!! xx
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