Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (24 September 2018):
 I thought the account wasn’t him??
Make your mind up whether it’s him or not. If you’re both making dating accounts to check on the other id say the relationship is as good as over considering you don’t trust each other.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2018): Yes he is on there but as he wrote my town as his location I think he is checking up on me because that's how we met on the dating app. I do have a profile on there as i was curious to see if he was on there but it says not single and his says single.I a don't really know what to do?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 September 2018):
 It sounds to me like you are continuously making excuses for him. If this is all in your head and you are paranoid for no good reason then you need to ask yourself why? I mean you posted saying he was on a dating app and now you are saying he wasn't? You need to make up your mind! You obviously had some proof he was when you said he was on for an hour? I don't understand who is checking up on who here. If he is insecure then that is his issues to deal with and if he is always checking up on you then he obviously doesn't trust you and he cannot blame his parents for that. Plenty off people have failed marriages but he cannot use that as an excuse to be checking up on you. What has you paranoid? I am sorry but this relationship has disaster wrote all over it.
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (13 September 2018):
How have you found out it’s not him?
This post is extremely confusing. How did you find the account in the first place? You must be on the dating website to have even noticed it. Is that correct? Then how have you come to the conclusion that it’s not him? Please provide more information.
There doesn’t sound like much trust at all in this relationship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2018): I have since found out the profile isn't him and I think this whole thing is my paranoia.
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (11 September 2018):
How is he checking up on you if you’re not on there?
How naive are you? You’re between 36-40 years old, surely you have enough life experience to notice when someone is fucking you around?
His excuse is bullshit. Why would HE be insecure because of someone else’s relationship? That’s a load of crap and you know it. If you’re buying that then there’s no advice that can be given that will help you.
If you’re not going to break up with him then you need to accept that this is something that he does and that he covers his actions up with lies.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 September 2018):
 You know what?
My dad cheated on my mom. Several times.
That doesn't mean I can't trust my husband, it doesn't give me the "right" to join dating apps or whatnot in hopes of either catching him or flirting with other people.
That his father and mother didn't have a healthy marriage doesn't EXCUSE his behavior.
If you don't want to break up then either accept his behavior or have a LONG talk about this and set some boundaries.
He went to SUCH length to "disguise" his profile... all so he can check up on you? that makes no sense. On the other hand.. only way YOU know that it might be his and that he is online/offline IS if you HAVE a profile of your own... So if you BOTH are silly enough to make profiles to try and catch each other, then you BOTH need to have a long chat and sort this out like grown people.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2018): I know trust is the main thing here but I think he may be insecure because of his upbringing his father dying over a failed marriage and he seems to be quite possessive but I don't think he's cheating on me and I do think he's checking up on me. That's why I wasn't sure to end it
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (10 September 2018):
You could ask him yes, but he could also spin you a load off lies. If he is on there to check if you are then there is obviously no trust in the relationship and it is doomed anyway. Sweetie relationships shouldn't be like this. The biggest thing is trust.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2018): Do you think I should ask him about it or just end it. I sometimes think he's on there looking to see if I'm on there but I just dont have any way of k owing what he's doing on there
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (8 September 2018):
How do you know he’s on there? How certain are you that it’s him if some of the info is false?
If you know 100% it’s him then break up. What other option is there? He’s on a dating site claiming that he’s single, he doesn’t respect you and is looking for sex elsewhere, very straightforward decision.
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (8 September 2018):
End it. He is lying to you and obviously looking for another partner. He is more than likely staying with you until he someone else comes along that he has more interest in. Don't allow him to treat you like this, you deserve so much better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2018): Dump him. That's what you should do. He's obviously not that into you and looking for something "better". Walk away before he does. I'm sure you'll meet someone else who is better than he is. Someone who will treat you with respect.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 September 2018):
If he is still looking, why waste your time on him?
He is trying to hide it from you, so you don't know what kind of crap he gets up to behind your back. That is disrespectful and untrustworthy behavior.
I'd ditch the man and look for one of quality.
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