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My boyfriend is making me do things and I am not confortable with it

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 February 2008) 18 Answers - (Newest, 20 May 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *azninch writes:

ive just got in to a relationship with someone that made me do things i wasnt sure i wanted to do. he is 16 im 12 almost 13 i cant tell my mum or dad

i still love him and want to be with him but i dont know how to say can we slow down beacuse im scared that he might hit me or somthing but i realy love him he is always drunk and stonned help please

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008):

First of all if ur 12/13 u dont need to be wit a guy that is drunk and high all the time. you should be wit a guy that makes u happy and that u can tell him what ur thinking and someone you can be real with.

You are too young for that kind of pressure and if he's 16 he shouldnt be making u do anything u dont wanna do. if ur scared he will hurt u then u dont need to be wit him. If u have an older brother or cousin that u trust and know will protect u then tell that person and hopefully ur "boyfriend" will get it that ur not own wit doin watever it is. i kno u love him and if u love him then he should love u enough to be cool with stopping watever it is that's makin u uncomfortable. I hope my advice helped :)

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A female reader, Moogie06 Canada +, writes (15 April 2008):

Yeowch, he drinks and gets stonned all the time? That combination is dangerous. I suggest you leave him for that.

A lot of the posters talk about nostalgia for being younger and so on, so I'll spare you the age thing, but I honestly believe you should leave him simply because he has the potential to be abusive as an alcoholic. No person in a relationship, at ANY age, should be pressured into doing things that they don't want to do [I'm not speaking of vacuuming, of course. Okay, bad time for humour].

Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008):

before you love him LOVE YOURSELF,you should be glad that you have a mom and dad most girls your age would give anything for their dad just to come and see them.focus on your grades and you wouldn't have misspelled so many words.i bet if you tell your father he would not think twice at protecting his little girl.yes stay a little girl as long as you can.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2008):

omg 12? he needs reporting to the police your too young to have a bf i have A 12 yrs old girl and id never let any biy near my girl stay away please

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A female reader, jamel United States +, writes (20 February 2008):

Sweetheart,

There isn't that much lov in the world. Besides ytou don't even know what love is. you need to leave him your way tooyoung to be in any realtionship, let alone one that your being forced to do things that you don't want to do. I mean I can't tell you what to do but this is something you really need to sit down and think about hunny. Get away from him please.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008):

You're 12? that's ridiculously young to be in a "relationship" and any sexual activity at that age is against the law.

Tell your parents - they won't be mad at you, but they will be furious with your boyfriend and do everything they can to get him away from you. You are simply too young to deal with this kinda crap.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (20 February 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntWhy do you love a drunk and a stoned guy and someone who forced you to do against your will?

Are you his sexual slave too?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

i really dont think you should be with a 17 year old boy, i understand that it is who your heart goes for, but if you're afraid he might hit you if you tell him that you dont want to do those things that you're not comfortable with you should leave him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

Hunny

My advise to you is to keep away sweetheart you are far to young, And tell your parents of this, in the hope they can put it right for your own safety, This young man is taking advantage of you as a minor and it is very much against the law hunny, You have to keep away from him it is not good at all, I no at this moment you are scared and finding it hard as you say you love him, But hunny if you really felt safe and loved would you be so scared and needing help right now.. If you canot tell your parents then tell someone who you can trust anyone sweetheart. I promise you that you will understand one day that this is not right that he is not treating you with respect and he is hurting you by making you do something against your will..So please hunny as hard as it may be put a stop to it and tell someone so you can be free of this fear and away from this person who is not good for you my love, And once you have told someone who will take care of you, you then wont feel so threatened and frightened. What is more frightening being with him or getting some help, Think about this very carefully ok hunny, If you need to talk message me, But please dont see him again. TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF YOU SWEETHEART LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

he doesnt love you

he is abusing you

he is a discusting druggie

he does not even care for you

tell your mom/an adult you trust

ive been in a similar situation

get out now and go the police if you need to

best of luck x

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A female reader, hello1 United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2008):

hello1 agony auntDump him, I know you don't want to tell your parents but they can protect you from this guy. He is 16 and shouldn't even be intrested in a 12yr old girl. You say you love him, you don't know what love is and guess what, this isn't love. When your older you will realise what a sick excuse of a human he is.

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2008):

Fairy_Lu agony auntGet out of this relationship NOW he is taking advantage of you and using you, you dont need this your young you dont need to be put through this you deserve someone who will respect you and not abuse your trust, please i beg with all my heart you dont need this dont be scared be brave respect yourself before you get hurt when he goes to far you dont need him!

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A male reader, VincentMancini United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2008):

VincentMancini agony auntJesus, love! You love a stoner who is always drunk/high? Leave him...guys like that don't deserve a woman. You take out a syringe and the guy'll walk over you to get it.

Take my advice...stay with someone your own age! Lol

Its your choice though, not mine

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (19 February 2008):

O Connor agony aunthey hun, your so young and it is so easy for him to take advantage of you, in my opinion love doesnt involve fear and shame. you are scared of him? you need to leave, you may think you love him now, but wen you get older you will look back and see that wat you have with this guy is not real love. a loving relationship involves trust, frienship, respect, and understanding. he is not giving you any of these things. has he forced himself on you? if so, you need to talk to someone - not necessarily your parents, just someone you can trust. but you also need to get out of this relationship now, if it goes on, who knows wat harm he could do. email me if you need more help hun, good luck xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

is this a piss take?!

if it is then grow up

if it is not then get the hell outa there!

seriously! you should never be in a relationship where you are scared or not doing anything the way you want to at the speed you want to

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

i am sorry but this seems like infatuation devotion to him despite his many faults i agree with baybee both you and him need to get help

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A female reader, baybee-x-sparkii United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2008):

baybee-x-sparkii agony auntyou shouldnt have to put up with this babe, i really do suggest you leave him otherwise you will end up getting hurt. it sounds like he needs to get some help too...

email me if u want anymore help

sparkii xxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

no offence but;;

WHY ARE YOU WITH THIS GUY!!

hes just gonna treat you like dirt. your 12, he is 16 that is illegal for a start, hes always drunk and stoned so he doesnt know what hes doin in the first place, i know you may love him im sure we've all been there. but you seriously need to dump this guy before he does something you both regret.

much love. x

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