A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What am I supposed to do when my boyfriend is in a completely different place to me? I'm 22 and he's 23 we've been together for two years and we decided to start house hunting a while back, although I don't feel he's taking it seriously, when we viewed a house we got quoted a price way out of our budget and a few days later he told me that we are fine as we are and that we don't need to fix something that isn't broken... We are both living at our parents, at our ages we should be out by now (in my opinion) and I just feel that we are staying in exactly the same place and not moving forward, I love more than words can describe, but I want our own place, I want kids, I want the big white wedding, I just want a future. Why can't he see that?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 March 2013):
 If you can't afford to get a place on your own how to you plan to afford the big white wedding, the kids and that whole lifestyle?
are you looking to buy or just rent? I would NOT buy a house with a man I was not married to.
Now I had my first house at 23/24 and my first child and my first husband. The only thing that remains is the child he'll be 29 next month. The husband is an ex and the house got sold a long long time ago... so nothing is permanent.
Have you two sat down and run a budget for running a home?
are you willing to rent an apartment together? that would be much cheaper and easier to manage... do you have any clue how much maintenance costs are for a home? It's a lot to mow the yard, tend the flowers, clean the house, handle the trash, the exterior work, the interior work...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 March 2013):
 He isn't ready for the whole family thing and the more you push the more he will back away.
So you are at an impasse.
Buying a house at 22-23 is a little ambitious if you ask me, but if it's doable financially I for the most part don't see a problem except this. YOU have been together for 2 years and the house would be a shared venture. So let's say 6-8 months down the line the relationship falls apart, then what? You two will be stuck with a house-loan with a person you don't want to be with.
If you DO want to move out, can you afford it on your own? If so, I would find a place to rent and move out. I DO think at your age you NEED to move forward (not necessarily together) but at least individually. But be realistic. Don't get into crazy debt trying to be on your own.
As far as him. You have two choices, wait for him to be ready or end it. I know it doesn't sound like great choices, but I really don't see anything else to do.
I honestly haven't met a whole lot of guys who were ready for house and family at 23. But independence from the parents yes.
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