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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 19 and my boyfriend is 22. I have just found out he has been having an affair with an obese old woman in her 50's for 3 months now, and I feel inadequate and I worry about if he will come back to me or not.What do I do about the affair?Jodie
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005):
LOL "obese old woman in her 50's ". She must be a size 10 44 year old.
You didnt give us much to go by but you must be deficent in some area. Maybe you are bitchy or too needy.
Looking back, most 19 year old I knew were way to much trouble.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2005): Jodie, I am so sorry this has happened in your relationship. I have to ask, dear...why do you want him back? You have been degraded, cheated on and lied to. Now you want him back? You love him? It sounds like you want to be loved and cared for more than you care about your well-being, dear. You could decide to wait this out and hope he comes back to you. Then you can carry on being taken for granted, knowing how painful & self-defeating, that this is, not to mention the shattered trust between you and him. This will be your future with this man. His actions are telling you that. Love involves being cherished and respected. These things are not in the relationship you have with this man. It's time for you to decide that you are lovable and insightful and that you deserve a much more full-hearted loving relationship-so much more than what this man has given you.
In your posting, you commented on "inadequacy". I get the impression...that perhaps you are putting too much of yourself into whether this man loves you or not. But you have to remember, you don't have to earn or deserve his love. Loving is never about how others treat you. It is always, first and foremost, about how you are treating yourself. In your shoes, I would move on, immediately. Cry, grieve, get angry and cry some more. But get him out of your system..he's not worth it. Know that you could attract nice, caring men. Learn from this experience and know you are smart enough to know whether you can trust any new men who may come into your life.. And if you can't, you can dump them and look for someone who is reliable, caring, open and honest. There are plenty of men out there who are looking for someone kind, loyal, loving and clever just like you. But will you find them while you're hooked into this man's snares? No you won't. I hope you find the strength to start building up all areas of your life. To reach out to your friends and build up a support network. To develop your skills and interests and social life. To be out there knowing you can have good love and always expect the best. I wish you the best and take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2005): Dump his stupid ass!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2005): Firstly he has cheated so why would you want him back?? secondly he obviously doesnt want or respect your relationship the same way you do if he feels he can go and do what he wants with who he wants.
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