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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm 14 years old and my boyfrined is the same age. I had never really had a boyfriend before, and I am still a virgin. I'm really innocent and have never done anything bad, I never even kissed a guy. Then about 3 weeks ago we started going out, and about a week ago I found out that he and his ex did some bad stuff, so he changed schools and came to my catholic school. Once I found out about his previous relationship, I talked to him and he told me that he wanted our relationdhip to be different, so I believed him. Soon after we started going out he would hug me alot, even in fron of teachers. At football games he would put his arm around me and always seemed to find me where ever I was...it was kind of creepy. So, when our first school dance came around, I was excited, but when we got there I soon became extremely uncomfortable. We started dancing and all of a sudden he was behind me grinding and groping me, I could feel him getting a hard on.Even though a lot of people around us were doing the same thing, I wasn't happy and even though his intentions may have been innocent, I was upset. So I tried to get away from him because I didn't know how to tell him to stop, because I didn't want it to be awkward. But whenever I would walk away from him he would follow me and keep touching me, so I went to look for my older sibling. When I told my brother, he kept an eye out for me and when he started touching me again, my brother would tell him to stop, and he would while my brother was there. As soon as my brother would leave though, he would start again, try to get away from my brother. I don't know if I am making too big of a deal out of this, and if this kind of dancing is know the norm., but I wwould like some other people's opions on what I should do.
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male
reader, theknowitall  +, writes (15 February 2011):
hi im 17 and my girlfreind was 17 aswellw we have been going out since 22 october 2010 but evertime i went to do something like touch her (downstaires) she will move my hand away and say no so i left it then did it again about 2 weeks later and she did the same so i just pushed her up cus she was lying on me and i asked her face to face if i was going to fast for her likeing and she repiled that she didn't mind that we sleep in the same bed with each other at mine or her house and that we cuddle alot but the thing she didn't like was that i was touching her there so after that i stoped doing it untill 2days ago she moved my hand down there and starting to move it up and down so the answer to this storie is if he cares about u like he should then he will stop doing it and ask u if hes going to fast and if he doesn't ask hes1) he doesn't care about you he only want one thing so he can brag to his m8s that he had sex2) he just a complete and unter jackass who need to get dumped so he knows he going to quick for youand tell him when your ready you will tell him
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): I came across this and I have to give you some more perspective from a guy's point of view. I understand where he is coming from...he is a guy. It's not an excuse, just how we are wired. You are not ready though. He needs to learn to respect you and your limitations for the situation. Some guys will put on the appearance of change to get with a girl, so be careful. Here is a rule that more and more dating relationships seem to follow: Guys give emotions to get sex, and girls give sex to give emotions. Sex doesn't necessarily mean intercourse, but everything from that, to hugs and kisses, and everything in between. I know you don't like the sound of this advice, but be careful. Guys are crafty and can get very creative to get what we want. Sit down with him and talk. Let him know where you stand, and you have to be willing to walk away if he won't back off. Otherwise you just give him what he wants.
Oh...and props to your big bro. It's a great feeling to know that there are still guys out there willing to stand up for their little sisters.
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A
female
reader, samsmommy  +, writes (13 October 2008):
One of the reasons he might have kept doing it after your brother left is he might have thought your brother is the one that didn't like it, not you.
So you need to be very clear and make sure he knows that you have a problem with it.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (12 October 2008):
for a start:
1. you're too young to have sex! you're not mature enough for sex and nither is he by the sound of it.
2. any guy who does not stop when you ask does not respect you and anything taken too far is seen as sexual assault or even rape.
3. you're obviously not ready for sex, you're only 14 enjoy being a child! what's the rush?
4. if he does not respect your wishes then he is not worth it, there are plenty more fish in the sea!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): Tell him! If your going to be in a relationship, you got to be old enought to tell him you don't like the fact he's going too fast. If he dosen't stop then yes he's a creep and dump him. It dosen't look very good your own brother warned him off yet he kept doing it, says a lot really.
But what's intresting is you call him creepy and he makes you feel strange? if so maybe there's something off about him and your gut telling you something.
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A
male
reader, karlgoo +, writes (12 October 2008):
 the kid doesn't have much respect for your wishes if he continues like that. But yes that is normal so he may not understand completely. Try and talk to him about it. Also relax a little about these things or break up with him if you think your not ready. I can understand not wanting to grind dance but his arm around you and hugs are really not all that bad, even if teachers are around. My gf is 14 and did not want to dance like that either but she is okay with hugs and even a few kisses now and then. Good luck
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