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My boyfriend is going round the world for 10 months. Should I split up with him before he goes?

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 July 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *e07 writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three years, in October he is going travelling around the world for a minimum of 10 months. I don't know what to do, as it's making me upset all the time. Its his dream and I completely respect it, I want him to go however I can't decide whether to stay with him, I'm scared of flying and I can't go to see him and his ticket won't allow him to come back to see me. So I won't see him for the full 10 months. Should I split up with him, or stay with him? either way its going to be hard, but i really cant make the decision. If i do split up with him should I do it now as I don't see the point in waiting, as i'm always thinking about him going, and its ruining what we have.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008):

Oh sorry I didn't realize that wasn't an option...

So then my other two options stand. I suggest you personally make a list of pros and cons for each one, as well as any other options you may have...

1. Stay with him, but only communicating over the phone or text for 10 months. Risk either one of you cheating.

2. Split up with him, get slightly depressed but it won't last 10 months. You'll eventually get over him.

Sorry I can't be of more help...

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A female reader, me07 United Kingdom +, writes (10 July 2008):

me07 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

alot of you are saying go with him - but i asked him about 1 year ago if he would go travelling with me, he replied i'd never go travelling with my girlfriend and about 3 months later he told me he was going with his friend. which was hard. So i don't have that option.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008):

Im a Male. So you probly wouldn't want to hear this from me. But, don't break up with him if you truely love you. 3years is a long time. Tell him you want to go with him. I don't think its normal for a female to purpose. But if you are sure your ready to be married & you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Ask him. Break it down into small words go on a date & try to make it not really romantic, but make it very special.

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (10 July 2008):

You have been together for 3 years and hes going away for 10months and you're thinking about dumping him?!

Honestly, 10 months is not that long in the long run. Have you guys planned to have a future together? Or have you atleast hoped you would have one with him???

Depending on how good your relationship has been before all the sadness of him leaving soon, will depend on whether or not I think you should stay.

If you had a good r/ship and love him, then I think you should stick with him- through thick and thin, through sickness and in health, through the good times and the bad etc...

But if the relationsihp wasnt all that great then maybe its time to reaccess. But one thing I do knwo for sure...if you are intending on breaking it up, do it before he leaves.

Dont forget about things such as emails, text messaging, phone calls, web cams, post cards etc....

You will still be able to communicate with him almost daily probably, there just wont be the phyiscal side of r/ship. If you're r/ship was strong b4 then I think it can survive this.

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A female reader, Madaleine United Kingdom +, writes (9 July 2008):

You have been with your boyfriend for 3 years, i know its hard and it does seem a long time to wait but if you really love him you would wait for him. Why end a relationship because he wants to follow his dream? all realationships are built on trust, there are ways of keeping in touch through e-mails, letters and phone calls. Don't let his dream end what you have together, when he comes back you will have a lot of time to make up and believe me it will be worth waiting for.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008):

Personally I'd break through and go with him. You still like him?!

Fighting a phobia would help you for life. And imagine the experience of flying around the world with him would be?! Travelling everywhere! Seeing all those incredible places. With someone you like or even love?!

That way you won't have to get over him and be with someone that makes you happy, at places that make you happy.

As I said getting over the phobia would be a benfit for life, even if you don't stay with your boyfriend for the rest of your life.

If flying on a plane just, isn't a option, then you can do two things.

1. Stay with him, but only communicating over the phone or text for 10 months. Risk either one of you cheating.

2. Split up with him, get slightly depressed but it won't last 10 months. You'll eventually get over him.

As I said I'd go. But I would imagine you might've thought people would say that on here. Get consuelling for it or something. Find some stuff on the web.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008):

Well, do you love him? And if you do then wouldnt you be willing to wait for him? I know its hard but if you truely love him and want to be with him, then you should wait for him. And does he still want to be with you when hes traveling? Or does he want to break it off while hes gone?

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