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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and 2 months, that's the longest I have been in a relationship. Im only 16 and my boyfriend turned 18 in febuary. I don't have much relationship skills and he is my second boyfriend. We have been haveing some problems lately and i'm not able to talk to him. He can't seem to talk to me either. This relationship isnt getting very far and i dont want to lose what we have. He does the hot and cold thing and i never know what he is thinking. He also has manic deppresion or he's bi-polar. I love him alot and can't deal with this not communicating issue. Also he always says hes not dateing me, he's dateing my mom. Which i am only 16 but i don't know what to do? Right now at this momment he doesn't talk to me that much, i see him once in a while and of course sometimes it's like im his everything and other times it's like he doesn't even see me? Do you know what this means or have any suggestions on how i could talk to him or make this better??? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (10 April 2006):
 This is tricky because the only solution is also the problem, if that makes sense. You need to communicate and he has to communicate with you. However, there is some hope. This relationship has been going a long time and I am assuming there was a time when things were not this way so it can be done.
Has there been a change in his circumstances that may have caused him to be like this? Has he been under alot of stress recenlty for whatever reason? These are a couple of things you need to think about you talk and are also answers you may need to find out. I would avoid assuming he has some mental illness, how he is being could well just be a negative reaction to stress.
What is meant by him satying he's dating your mum? Can I ask how old he is?
In general you need to make sure you set aside some time and space to talk. Try and lessen the pressure on the situation as much as possible so immediatly before do something you both find relaxing together then ease into it. Generally you will have to play it by ear and see how things go but try and remain calm and measured although I know that is hard. Hope that helps.
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