A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:6 months of horrible sex.I am dating a men that is (''cut'') he is the first one I have dated. It is like his penis is desensitise, he thrusts and pounds during sex as if my vagina was made of steel, he takes very long to orgasm and I get sore and it gets painful. I am always bleeding after sex and now we have decided not to use condoms any more, vaginal dryness is eminent, is like his penis absorbs all the moisture my vagina produces.It is bad, real bad I am off vaginal sex now, I have never had this problem before with my two past exes who were not cut.The guy I am dating right now can literally masturbate for 3 hours and no reach an orgasm...It is a nightmare, help please does this have any solutions?(please dont suggest lub, it is thick sticky and it burns me inside)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMyau! that is something I did think about, I suggested to him to apply an organic naturally made body butter, it is coconut oil and avocado... he is been using it and def makes a different to the touch, the shaft use to feel really rough it feels better now. But I never though about the condom, I will suggest it to him.Female anon, I do think it has something to do with circumcision too... it is a conclusion I drew from comparing my experience and other close friends experience. But there is a certain unawareness.
A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (2 February 2014):
 I have an "out there" idea.
Maybe we are looking at this wrong.
What if we can re sensitise him?
His penis being exposed is causing the problem isn't it. So what if every day he applied lube or a skin softening lotion to his dick, put a condom over the top and went about his day as normal?
His penis would gradually soften and become more sensitive I think.
On top of this though, he cant masturbate and you will have to cut back on sex for a while, to make sure his penis softens properly.
Now, when you go back to having sex again, he can only penetrate you slowly and gently, not hard and fast as he has been doing.
Its worth at try.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2014): I'm going to disagree with some of the other posters and say that, yes, it probably is because he's circumcised. I struggled with the same thing with my ex.
I would try lube though--there is a specific kind called "good clean love", it's all natural (only 5 ingredients) and it's really nice. Should not cause any irritation like other types do (I'm really sensitive, too).
I found an interesting comment online…I'll quote some of it here:
"Male circumcision has benefits? Really? Tell me about them.
Because I am 31 years old and my penis was mutilated (aka “circumcised”) shortly after birth and I am STILL WAITING FOR THOSE CIRCUMCISION BENEFITS.
Let me tell you about the “benefits” circumcision has given me.
1) A nasty circumcision scar around the middle of my penile shaft!
2) Painful erections during puberty!
3) A gradual decrease in penile sensitivity over the years.
4) A hardened, keratinized sand-paperish glans thanks to my lack of a foreskin that rubs the inside vaginal walls of my girlfriend raw and causes her pain and vaginal soreness as well as microscopic tears.
5) Painful and uncomfortable sex with my girlfriend. I have to jackhammer her and I still can‘t please her or myself!
6) My male G-spot, the frenulum, has been cut away. Even more pleasure reduction.
7) When I am 40, I‘ll probably need Viagra to get and maintain an erection because circumcision causes erectile dysfunction. Oh it‘s pretty embarrassing if some 80 year old intact man in Europe can still enjoy sex naturally while I need to take blue pills because my culture thought it was a good idea to fuck with my penis!
So tell me about those “wonderful benefits” of circumcision because I am still waiting for them."
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni would not go as far as to say he is terrible in bed... but i have been thinking about the compatibility comment female anone mentioned.
i do know, some women who like that sort of rough sex and would prob enjoy as much as him. yes we def are not sexually compatible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2014): Sounds like he is a chronic masturbator and you're just not aware of it. Or perhaps he is on medication which delays his orgasm?More importantly, you are not satisfied. He sounds terrible in bed, to the point where you are bleeding!If you are able to have sex with this man, you should be able to communicate with him.Sex is so important to a relationship, and you need to remember it's not all about making him orgasm, it's about your needs as well!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2014): I have the same problem with my husband. It takes him forever to finish. It's actually the other side of premature ejaculation. When a man lasts forever is as bad as PE. My husband can literally last for 40 minutes. I too become very dry soon and wish he could finish already. We don't have sex very often because of the baby, both tired, but when we do I bleed also. Sometimes he doesn't even finish. He pleasures me, and then says, it's ok, for me next time because he knows that it will take him forever.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your answers, he doesn't watch porn now we are together in all honesty, we watch some together but that's about it.
i assumed it was a problem with circumcise men since several of my friends suggested it, but i haven't a clue if it is actually relevant, i just though i point it out in case there was a correlation.
i will try Japanese lub, because i have tried all types over here and i am to damh sensitive for lubricant, specially the fancy ones, with tingling sensation, they are not an acquired replacement for vag natural lub... ( just a little rant there) i will try having sex with him less often but in all honesty he says he has always been like this, ( i figure not in his younger years )
is my fault, i feel bad if he does not get off from sex so there is the pressure from me there as well... he does whatever possible to make sure i enjoy my self, so i can't feel like i am doing less.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): I don't think it's because he's circumcised. I've had sex with both cat and uncut men and it doesn't really seem to have much of a difference on their overall sensitivity or the time it took them to reach orgasm.In fact, the guy I experienced a similar problem with was uncircumcised. This guy's problem was caused by anti-depressant medication and went away when he switched meds. Is your b/f taking medication for anything?As some of the aunties have suggested, porn addiction and too much masturbation can caused problems of this sort.Regarding the lube - I suggest you try the water-based lubes again at some point in the future. If you only started using the lube after you had become sore from previous sex-sessions, it may well have stung because your vagina was already excoriated. A bit like having a paper cut - it stings for a bit and then you forget about it until you go to wash your hands - a little bit of water gets into the cut and OUCH - it stings all over again. So try the lube again once your vagina really has had time to heal and it might be okay.It does sound however that you and your boyfriend may be sexually incompatible.
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (31 January 2014):
 (1) Lube. Sorry to tell it once again because you specifically asked us to not pronounce that word, but that's an unavoidable part of the solution. Nowadays there are a lot of types of lubes, just have a look to what japanese companies like TENGA produce, they are expert in doing sex accessories. No doubt (I've just checked it) you can find some good innovative lubes on Amazon.uk (as I assume you are british).(2) You MUST have less sex or to tell it straight, your boyfriend has to ejaculate less in order to increase the "spermatic pressure" and give some rest to his penis which seems to be over-unsensitived (which is frequent after too much sex/masturbation).Give that two means a try during, say, a month. Less sex, but better sex.(3) If this doesn't solve totally the problem, it's maybe time your boyfriend to think about taking some aphrodisiacs like the horny goat to help him reach orgasm easier.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (31 January 2014):
 Yea, I doubt it's about the circumcision. He is just a REALLY lousy lover and YOU need to speak up and tell him that your vagina isn't a pothole and his penis not a jackhammer.
My guess is there is another reason he can masturbate for 3 hours and not get off... Like TOO my jerking off. Some guys seriously tries to "choke the chicken" when masturbating - sounds like you BF is one of those. Plus your BF is ignorant as far as female pleasure. (my guess is too much "do me harder" porn mentality)
It's NOT going to change until you tell him you are no enjoying it. And tell him WHAT you like.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI tried lub it burns ( water base? ) lies.
i am not shy he already knows, we are no longer having sex for hours, instead i give him a hand or a mouth to help, but the problem remains. it is too long, is more like a chore than pleasure time , is my problem here.
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (31 January 2014):
 I meant to say body language
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (31 January 2014):
I don't think circumcised v. uncircumcised is really the problem here. I think it's just him.
I'm gay so I definitely don't have your problem. But if I had to lay there for hours on end and just let some dude thrust away at me, I'd hate my life, too. No joke. I wouldn't be able to do it.
Have you ever spoken to him about this? You've got to learn to speak up if you don't already. Ask him why it takes him so long. Tell him you don't like it when he pounds away for hours on end. Certainly he can tell you're not enjoying it? I mean, I know men are known for being poor readers of both language, but how could he miss that?
Talk to him. Tell him you're not happy and you're curious why it takes him so long. Tell him he's hurting you and you're bleeding and you don't like it. You don't have to be harsh about it - just honest. if you're not able to talk about sex with your partner, I'm under the persuasion you're not ready to have sex with them.
Good luck. Don't let him do this anymore!
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A
male
reader, Myau +, writes (31 January 2014):
Ok its time for you to cut the crap here.He is a dud in bed. You aren't enjoying it at all and he is even hurting you.Solution: Lubrication and lots of it. He is also going to have to put in overtime, foreplay wise. Fair is fair. You have to be vocal about this, you cant just grin and bear it.Lots of girls are shy about saying what they like, and its just silly. MY first gf told me exactly how to get her off and she came every time we did it. Its just common sense.
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