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My boyfriend is being so clingy.

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 January 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 January 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend is being so clingy and I am so scared of ending things because he says I am the only good thing in his life and he couldnt take it if things ended. I think he can read the signals that I am not happy. He relies on me for lifts here there and everywhere, he is 29 and has no car or license. He loves to waste money on dvd's and alcohol and cigarettes, and then moans he has no money, he claims he wants to change and save money, but I have waited 6 months to see him change and nothing has happened. He says I should be patient, but I dont know how much longer I can wait.

I need a man who is independant and has his life planned out.

I am not sure how much longer I can wait, or put up with his clinginess. It seems like he needs me around. I can tell he loves me, but it seems that he centres his whole world around me and I cant take the pressure. HELP!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly if you aren't happy together, maybe it's time to move on.

You can not change an man unless he truly want change, and still that would be HIM changing himself.

Find a man who you can love for who he is, not for how you would like him to be.

He seems utterly irresponsible and immature. He needs to grow a pair and not have his GF chauffeur him around.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009):

He's not much of a prospect for the future is he?

He wastes money and relies on you a lot, so no wonder he wouldn't be able to take it if you broke up. Without you he'd be up shit creek without a paddle. You seem to be the only steadying influence in his life.

Now put all that aside. Start thinking about your future. How long can this continue? If you broke up he'd have to start fending for himself a lot more and it could be the wake-up call he needs to get his life on track. He never will while you're helping him out all the time.

He needs to do some maturing, to start saving and stop wasting money. Basically he needs to grow up and get his life in order, and that's not going to happen while the current situation exists.

Stop worrying about him and start worrying about yourself and your own future. If he wants to waste his, that's his problem not yours!

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A female reader, carriebaby United Kingdom +, writes (26 January 2009):

carriebaby agony auntIf you have fallen out of love with your boyfriend than be honest with him. Tell him the reason you are going off him is that his life revolves around yours. HE needs you 24/7 and thats not what you want. Tell him you want a more dependant guy who can do things on their own without you being there all the time.

i wouldnt let him emotionally blackmail you tho by saying things lik he couldnt cope without you etc.

It sounds to me that you have finally had enough and want to get rid. THEN DO! dont hang around much longer as it will eventually bring you both down !!

let me no how u get on

x

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