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male
age
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*udefriend
writes:My boyfriend is an Escort. He meets with much older guys every so often, either on long trips or one hour sessions. I am "ok" with this because we have an open relationship, and, its' guys that I am not threatened by. However, I have confided in two of my friends, and, they think its' nuts that I continue to stay with him.We have an open relationship, and, have been together for 13 years. As crazy as this may sound, after this, we love each other very much.I am confused:(
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reader, saahil12345  +, writes (13 June 2013):
My bf is also an escort which he made me clear befor going into a relationshp.he always says that i cant love my clients coz they pay me. He loves me a lot.yes it hurts bt if he loves me i had to compromise with his profession.i am 23 and he is 25
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): Little difference in my case that when i was looking for an escort, i met my guy and then developed relation with him
i calculated that he will stop escorting after months, since he had few adhoc jobs, though not steady jobs
but if you take the escorting as his job, then you can very well continue the relation with him. As someone said, love and affection is important in a relation than sex.
Or try to get away from him for sometime. If your boyfriend comes behind you repeatedly, then you should value his love.
I realised this importance of love, after the pain i underwent for many months. we had many discussions over the same topic and after he understood my concerns, now things are much better. but now i made myself strong, that i will not get heart break if something bad happens.
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male
reader, ds7771 +, writes (5 March 2009):
I am going through this myself. It is very hard.... I have to say that you need to do what is right for you. I agree that to him it is just a job... believe me... it is. You can tell when someone is with you because of love and because of work. It is not a good situation. You should try and slowly plant the seed that it is time to change and move on as your relationship grows... maybe try and figure out another financial avenue so this does not become necessary? As time goes on, the problem should take care of itself. Believe me, I have thought of leaving my BF a million times but if you love him, you will stay with him. Maybe you will get made for a few days but in the end, you will come back and he will likely be there because not many people would accept him as he is. It is clear that you really love him for himself, though you might not love what he does. As we get older, it is important to understand the difference between sex, love and being possessive. If any open relationship works for you, then you should be OK with him being safe. It is not affecting your love for each other... but if you need more, tell him and maybe he will come round and try to change. The bottom line is if you love him, stay with him and make it work!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): I'm going thru this now and it hurts so bad to give up on him but I just have to for my safety and sanity. I am one of the unfortunate to have found out via his emails that he was escorting. I know he would do anything for me and is struggling bad to keep shelter and live but I just can't accept this escorting thing. I thought once I confronted him with the truth that I know his secret that maybe he would explain it to me and maybe stop doing it. But in return he didn't give me any explanation just shock and a sad embarrassed look on his face. I even stooped low enough to say I accept him for who he is even after I now know the truth, and he has yet to even say he will stop for us or even appologize for hidin this from me. I know we can be naive when we are in love. But the sad thing about this is, I wasn't in love until I felt this pain. Love is the slowest form of suicide...
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): It can work. But only if both parties of the relationship agree to deal with it.
As it bothers you more then it does him (because to him it's a job, and nothing more... but to you it's cheating) then it won;t work for you.
One of you has to give. One of you has to sacrifice for love or learn to compromise because this is th only way around objectons to his job.
You must have know he was an Escort from the get go, why did you not think about this when you agreed to a relationship?
Flynn 24
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 Well said, Bemused.
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female
reader, bemused  +, writes (14 December 2008):
 Well, if I were you and someone special in my life was working for an escort agency I would not be ok with it. There is a limit to how compromising I could be and this would be a deal breaker. But I am not you. You are clearly distressed by this. What constitutes an open relationship. That would be considered a little out of style these days. Where once open relationships were the norm for both homosexual and hetersexual relationships...they are no longer. Fear of stds and worse have prompted people to focus more on being monogomous. Are you 100 percent certain that your partner is using protection....all the time with his clients. If you have open communication that should sure be on the table. You have a right to be confused...who would not be. Are you afraid if you put your foot down and tell him you cannot live with him...that you might lose him. I guess you are wondering how someone you assume loves you and cares for you can cause you such pain. What strikes me from your post is that this is a dealbreaker for you. It must to directly to the core of your self esteem. I know it is hard but could you gently but firmly tell him that he has a choice to make. You or his escort life style. If he comes back with the comment that the money is good with the escort service...well I would not accept that as an answer. If it really is LOVE on his side, he will find a way to leave this double life behind. If he shows no interest in meeting you half way you have your answer and I am sorry. Take care
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