A
female
age
30-35,
*abyPorsh
writes:okay i need help with my 8 months relationship...AGAIN haha. so sorry it's long, id appreciate it if you read - - - - - -I called my bf and asked if i can see him yesterday and he told me to come over at his home on my way from work and yeah i agreed, when i got there he had gone to the shop so i found his brother who is a year older than me, we quite close. okay we just sat and talked and talked like we always do and my bf arrives and greets us and then leaves the room, i assumed he was maybe going to the bathroom so i didn't follow him or anything, we continued talking and laughing as i thought he was coming back.30 minutes later the brother decides to go buy beer and only then i start to wonder where my bf is, his brother calls for him and he responds, he was in the bathroom, WASHING HIS SNEAKERS!! the brother goes to the shop and leaves the 2 of us in the house, i was really suprised and asked why he's washing his sneakers when he told me to come by, he looked at me kinda pissed and asked "Was i supposed to disturb your chat?? What was i suppose to do? tell you to come with me??" I didnt answer him and he said he didnt disturb me so he doesnt know why im disturbing him, and then said i musnt worry about it, time has gone and he will take me home and i musnt get him wrong , he doesnt mind me spending time with his brother, While waiting for him the brother returns and asks me to play pool with him, i did as i was still waiting anyway. i realized my bf wasnt coming and went to check on him and he was feeding the dog :-o i was suprised coz he knew he had to take me home and it was getting really late, i was getting impatient and just said "GOSH!!" he got really angry and asked what i was saying that for coz he did'nt say it when i was still playing pool.I did'nt know what to say coz i played while waiting for him, he was so angry his eyes were red, he never gets aggressive or shouts but his face changes and he starts talking to himself in a really low voice, have to admit, its scary. Well he didnt talk to me all the way home and when i called at nite he answered and i tried talking to him but he hung up, and he didnt answer my calls from then,it's off.was i wrong, did he perceive this whole thing wrong?what would you do? please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): he's being a p***y and if he really loved you he should have went and got YOU love is a two sided coin no tone. He made it feel like it was ALL your fault....It was a test. If he doesn't start acting normal in 2-3 days then I would have a serious talk with him
A
male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (11 December 2008):
 Your mistake honey.. You ignored him all the way.. The First time you went to check in was 30 minutes after he had arrived.. Then instead of understand his anger, you go and play pool.. You should have understood that he wants you to be in his room, not with his brother.. Aren't you pretending too innocent in asking us what went wrong.? You don't spend 50 out of 60 minutes with your boy friend's brother.. It should be the other way round.. The point is He gave you constant signals and you kept on ignoring then.. He expects you to understand.. Is that too much.?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): From what you say it sounds as though your BF got jealous! When he walked in, you didn't finish talking to his brother and give your attention to your BF. You only went looking for your BF after the brother went for a beer, 30 minutes after your BF walked in!! Looks to me that your BF didn't like this and got annoyed about it.
If you and his brother are close, I would suspect that your BF already thought you fancied his brother or worse, that you were seeing him behind his back! Not only did you carry on talking to his brother, but you were laughing with him as well. If your BF is insecure and heard this, which he probably did, he would be wondering why you are laughing and talking with his brother for so long while he is in another room being ignored. This would confirm to him that you fancied his brother, no matter how innocent the laughter was.
Then you played pool with his brother instead of going to your BF first to see what he was doing. Again, as he was already annoyed, your BF could take this as a further sign that you want to be around his brother rather than him.
Your BF may take anything like that as a sign you don't want him.
That's just my thoughts, but I've seen similar situations before.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): how about you quit playing pool with his brother, and just wait for him next time... duh.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): Why are you asking us...ofcourse he was jelous and you knew it. He voiced it out to you and the next thing u do is go and spend more time with the brother! Do you care about your boyfriend and his feeling even, maybe you should ask yourself that. Stop messing with your boyfriends brother and love your boyfriend!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): Okay, I suspect your boyfriend is jealous of his brother and is showing it in his own way - ignoring you! I think that you should have shown more attention to your boyfriend when he arrived and made an effort to find out where he was going [even if he was going to the bathroom]. From your boyfriends view of things you get on very well with his brother and it seems that he might suspect that you like his brother more than him. You need to discuss your feelings with your boyfriend and tell him how much he means to you.
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A
female
reader, nokutenda  +, writes (11 December 2008):
give him time
he loves you he got jealous when he saw you were enjoying the company of his brother
you could text him telling him you went over to their place because of him,that you love him,he is your life.
see how it goes
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