A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. When we first started dating he was taking steroids and it became unbearable and I ended it after a few months. Three months later he sent me an email and apologized..so we ended up getting back together. He said he was no longer on steroids and we were getting along a lot better. A few months into it he started taking steroids again. he became very mean and controlling. he was always putting me down and calling me names. this past september i had finally had enough and called it quits. after a month of being broken up i finally gave into his begging and claims that he would change, he wouldn't call me names or put me down, he wouldn't bring up my past, etc. So now..its pretty much exactly the way it was before. I'm such an idiot. I feel like I have no one to talk to because I can't talk to him because he gets mad about everything and doesn't listen. I can't talk to my mom because I don't want her to think bad of him anymore than she already does. Its like he controls my mind..I feel as though I can't talk to my mom because I know he doesn't want to me..even though he would never find out. I feel as though I cant do this or that because he doesnt approve even when its not a big deal. He puts me down about my weight..which really isn't even that bad (im 5'2 and 120 pounds). He calls me fat when he's mad at me because he knows it hurts my feelings. and he says hes just kidding and I should know he doesnt mean it. He knows im insecure about my body and its his fault. Everything is my fault. If he breaks something because I make him mad he says "well you shouldnt have pissed me off". I made him something for our anniversary and he broke it when I made him mad and said I shouldnt have made him mad. Everything is my fault. I play an online game that he cannot stand because he thinks I am talking to other guys..which I am not..and if I wont get off when he tells me to he starts yelling at me and calling me names and telling me how I am so stupid and fat and a piece of crap. If I don't do what he tells me to he gets mad and get hell for what seems like forever and yet its my fault because "I don't listen." I am so confused I know I am not perfect and sometimes I am a pain. But he is always on me and well..is it me? I mean I have already changed so much about myself to make him happy. It just seems like he wants to take everything away. He is so insecure and I just feel so bad about myself. I know I deserve so much better. I know I do. Why can't I let him go.. I really don't think its my fault. I have given him a million chances to change and yet we are back where we started..Also, he always says things like "you act like you have it so bad" and it makes me think "do I really have it as bad as I think?" but if I didn't have it bad I would be happy..and I'm not happy..I'm just confused..
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anniversary, insecure, online game, puts me down Reply to this Question
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Really he sounds like a loser that you should run from now. Remember that steroids are cheating and that by taking them he's admitting that he can't cut it any other way. You don't want to spend your life with this guy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): Not all guys who take steroids get mad! But if an a...hole is taking them then it does make his behaviour worse. He has to be predisposed to the rage already for him to get mad. I was married to a steroid user and during his cycles he would be worse than usual then off cycle he would plead and act stupid to make me forgive him. His behaviour included being abusive and being promiscuous. However, I quickly recognized that this was no excuse and I showed him the door. To this day he is pleading again, but it looks really dumb when his huge shoulders heave when he is sobbing. I'm not going back to jail... You should break out!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 January 2010):
End it and leave him as quickly as you can.
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