A
female
age
36-40,
*ilprincs001
writes:I met my ex bf about a year ago while I was home for christmas break from college. My home is about an hour from my school. The relationship moved really fast and he eventually moved to Richmond with me. I think that I was lonely and he has always been really sweet and caring to me. He is 36 and I am 22 so that might be because of the age thing. We were fighting alot and not getting along. The whole time he has been living here with me he has not been able to find a job.. due to laziness/ recession. He does look but not hard enough. He also smokes weed ALOT!. which I don't like.Basically to get to my point. I broke up with him about a month ago and kicked him out because of the things I mentioned. I felt good and relieved that he was gone. But about 2 weeks after we broke up I found out I was pregnant (of course). This will be my first child. I am excited but wish it wasn't with him. So since I found that out I have been I guess trying to make it work. It is hard for me because he is a good guy and he does household chores and helps me out around the house. He just needs to grow up ALOT and I don't feel like sitting around waiting for him to do that. But now I am pregnant and I don't know if I should try to make it work or just tell him. He has started slowly creeping back into the house. Because i need him to take care of the dog during the day I guess he thinks now that he can stay there all day. He just won't leave.He doesn't have a car or a license so he can't really get anywhere. What should I do?
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broke up, christmas, my ex, smokes Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (10 February 2010):
 If you make enough to support the family, it may be cheaper for him to stay home and take care of the baby while you work. Daycare is not a joke! However, I am of the belief that most men take pride in being the breadwinner and maybe spending time caring for an infant will make him get more serious about finding a direction in life.
A
female
reader, lilprincs001 +, writes (9 February 2010):
lilprincs001 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou guys! I like both of your answers... the woman's point of view and the man's point of view lol. I just wanted to add some things. I am very independent, I have a very good job and am able to support both of us. I am also almost done with school I will only have one more semester after the baby is here. I just wanted him to contribute but he is working at labor ready like every other day so he is getting some money. Maybe I just need to stop being so hard on him. He does help me just not with money. But everything is not about money.. right?
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (9 February 2010):
Where does he get money for weed??? I know some people smoke to deal with stress and depression, but marijuana just makes them more depressed and completely unmotivated. If you allow him back into your home, you need to demand that he leave the pot alone, and get a license or at least a bus pass.
You say he's a good guy, but immature. If you think your relationship is worth saving (and it very well may be), the two of you need to have a serious discussion about how you plan to support this child. Will you be able to continue your education? What about childcare? Has he applied for unemployment, or does he even qualify for unemployment? Has he looked into furthering his education to become more employable? What does he want to do with his life?
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