A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is quitting weed, and seems to be having with draws... is that an excuse to treat me poorly? He was very upset because we were both trying to stop all together, and last night (it has been 4 days) we had some friends over and they offer me a hit, i just stated a new job and am totally stressed, so I took one. Totally wish I didn't cuz it made me all loopy. Anyways, he was very upset with me, and in the morning wouldn't even speak to me or tell me what was bothering him. Later when he got home, he was still upset and snap at me for not finishing the dishes (very silly) and I let him know I planned on doing it just after picking him up....he continued to be angry about it, and comlpaining...saying he is the only one who has dealt with these things in the past week...(not true) so as I'm doing the dishes, thinking he is in the other room, I said 'ugh douchebag" ...I know, I know... not nice. So he freaks, calls me a b*tch, and tell me that I can't touch his computer anymore...(We have lived together for almost 2 years....everything should be 'ours' in my mind.)then tells me the favor he was going to do for me...(regarding my new job) he was just going to throw away.... Then after dinner we were talking, and he was giving me advice on something he thought I was unprepared for...(A phone interview the next morning) and he has a tone of voice he often uses that offends me and he realizes this yet still cannot control it (it has to do with an issue he had when he was younger...he enjoyed making people feel stupid when he was a kid...) so I tell him...'ok--but you don't need to talk to me like i'm your kid and don't know any better' ....that made him blow up... he told me I took him for granted... that I don't even know what that means.... that the car and house (both mainly in his name, but I have allllwwayyys equally paid for) for granted, if i decided to leave, that he was effed and I take that for granted. that because of my snotty attitude I take him for granted. I told him I just want him to speak to me like we're on the same level, and he says 'are we????' He knows I am inscure about things like that because my parents were very mean to me. I tell him I know I shouldn't be snotty and give him attitude, but I wouldn't do it unless I had a reason, which in my mind is him speaking to me like i'm below him...and he says that he always has to deal with my issues. Should I let him do this, am I wrong?? please help, as i am going nutso. We recently moved (4 months ago) and I still have no good friends to talk to and feel helpless in these kinds of situations.... advice time? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): I'm the writer of the question, and would to add that I live in CA and work at a medical cannabis dispensary, so it is not used for rec, but for pain.
He has always a small problem with this behavior
"(it has to do with an issue he had when he was younger...he enjoyed making people feel stupid when he was a kid...)"
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 It's good that he's quit the weed, must be hard for him because you havent. But smoking weed can cause paranoia as well and if he's coming down from it he could be having mood swings. Was he like this before you moved in or was the weed keeping it at bay. You've not been living together for two long, there could be teething problems there, getting to know each others ways etc. We don't really know anyone properly until we have to live with them. These days nothing is yours unless you are married then it's considered joint ownership, unless y ou have something in joint names to prove you have paid y our half then you have no legal right to it, i.e. the computer. So a lot of it is petty arguing really that might get better if you both show a bit of respect. Try yourself to keep away from the weed then you can both see things in a clearer light.
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