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My boyfriend hit me, but the thought of leaving him hurts too much.

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 September 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 19 September 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend hit me, and the thought of me having to leave and star all over with another guy hurts so bad I still love him to death cause we been together for a year and a half. Should I leave him?

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (19 September 2009):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntI would like to say that there are men that are not like him. There are men, friends of yours perhaps, that would gladly help you get out of the situation. These are the people you should be with.

I'll admit, I got arrested 4 days after you made your post. However, I got arrested for being party boy for halloween. I did not get arrested for hitting a woman and battering her emotionally, because I feel empty inside. I did not harm anyone, etc.

Find yourself a good guy. You can do better than that, no matter what he has said to you. No matter how many times he has hurt you. No matter what he has done to you. You are still a woman with her own gifts, talents, beauty, and worth.

You have the right to be happy.

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A female reader, blackberry008 United States +, writes (30 September 2008):

blackberry008 agony auntYou are young. There are a lot of better guys out there I promise you. And you will never get to meet any of them if you still stay in that relationship.

Always remember when a guy gives you a tick, this means "GO".

You are just giving him another chance to hurt you again.

You are even lucky enough. Other people have suffered more than you have been. But, they were strong enough to get out of the relationship.

What you can do? Just be nice to him, but at the moment slide out of the relationship. Make something that will look like it is his fault - and leave! after that - you win trust me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008):

Girl,

You better Run...Please get away from that monster..... I myself was in a domestic violence relationship for almost 17 yrs. It got worst and worst... I have two daughters and I work two jobs to make ends meet, but it's not the end of the world. I get a great satisfation from working my two jobs and I am able to provide for my girls.

You have no children with this man...Please you will end up with a low self esteem not to say you can end up in a morgue...You r young and deserve better...I can tell you I lived it for close to 17 yrs. Go run and never look back...It's not worth it.

Love yourself before you love him....

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A male reader, Hotshot United States +, writes (25 September 2008):

I would leave, I had to beat the crap out of my ex girlfriends ex boyfriend I dont stand for a guy hitting a lady have more respect, I dont care if your 11 15 17 23 30s 40s it doesnt matter a real man would never lay a hand on a women.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (25 September 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntWhat hurts more? A bruise or a broken heart? How about a broken tooth? Being choked? Dying?

He hit you, he will do so again and it will get worse.

So, you have to decide, at what point do you decide that a broken heart is the lesser of two evils?

Nobody ever died of a broken heart. Domestic abuse kills every single day.

Stop living in a fantasy world "the thought of leaving him hurts too much" belongs in trashy romance novels, not in real life. The moment he hit you, the romance was over.

You choice, accept the relationship has to end know or be his punching bag until the next guy to take you out is the corroner.

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A female reader, kle7 United States +, writes (25 September 2008):

GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! that's what I have to say about what you should do! You say that you love him, but the harsh truth is that HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!

Answer this question.... how can someone love you and hit you at the same time?

He's a coward! Any man.....wait I can't say man because a MAN wouldn't hit a female...EVER! But any guy who puts his hands on you doesn't deserve you.

This may sound harsh but 1 1/2 years isn't anything! I've been with my bf for 2 1/2 years and if he even THOUGHT about puting his hands on me, that would be the last thing that he would remember when he wakes up in the hospital!

I bet you that he'll say that "I'm sorry","I didn't mean it", and of course the infamouse "I love you!" and "please don't leave me, it won't happen again". But all those words are is empty promises.

why don't you talk to your mom or mother figure about what you should do? But my answer remains the same.

***IF HE DID IT ONCE HE'LL DO IT AGAIN***

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008):

In a word, "yes"!!! If a man hits you, you should not give him the opportunity to do it a second time.

You are so young and have so much life in front of you. Do you really want to spend it with someone who treats you this way? Do you think this is representative of his love for you?

You can tell yourself whatever you want, that it will never happen again, he didn't mean it and he is very sorry...but that won't make any of it true or prevent it from happening again.

I believe if you were content with the fact your boyfriend hit you and really wanted to stay with him, you never would have written a post on this website. Your better judgement is telling you this is not right, you don't deserve this and it is time to get out!

Listen to your better judgment. Part of the responsibility of getting older is figuring out who you are and what you want. You won't be able to achieve this with someone who mistreats you and makes you feel worthless. Get out now!! Live your life and start evaluating the potential you have!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008):

you should leave him because he wont change he'll get worse. You can't stay with him expecting him to change or thinking that youll change him because it just wont happen. Get out before he goes farther.

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