A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and we used to have the perfect relationship. He used to buy me things, he used to be so nice and considerate, and he would always make me feel special. But recently, it just stopped. He's obsessed with going to the gym everyday and "making gains". He straight up told me that he loves himself more than he loves me. He refuses to buy me anything, like for instance, if he buys himself a bag of chips, he won't share any with me and even if I'm starving he'll tell me "you should have eaten at your house." I just don't understand how he turned into such an egotistical jerk. What am I supposed to do? Should I just break it off? HELP! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 August 2014):
 I agree with the others in that you should leave him. Nobody says crap like that and deserves a girlfriend. I also don't think he's going to the gym like he's been saying, at least not all of the time. I think he's "making gains" with something else, or someone else. I'll say WHY in the next paragraphs.
Before I do, there is a common refrain in your posts that I need to address here...mind you, nothing I say excuses him from being an egotistical jerk, but I owe it to you and your future relationships to say something about it.
I noticed that the specific behavior you referenced with him being "perfect" at first what the fact that he bought you things. And one of the examples you used was that he stopped buying you things, and that he bought himself chips and wouldn't give you some.
Do NOT measure a relationship by how much a boyfriend buys you. Don't expect it, and don't assume it. Love and materialism are not connected. If he bought chips, why didn't you buy some as well? Why does he *have* to buy you any? You'll push guys away in the future if you have buying things for you be an expectation or a prerequisite for a perfect relationship. Always have the money to be independent, even in a relationship.
And that brings me back to the beginning. Why the hell is he buying CHIPS if he's so obsessed with making gains at the gym?? Everyone I know who is in an intensive training program isn't buying junk food, and in fact, they treat it like it's kryptonite. I would be suspicious of him lying if he's always at the gym, yet nonchalantly buying and eating junk food designed to undermine everything he's working toward. Healthy food is available and so much better. Food is fuel, and chips are the equivalent of pouring sand in the gas tank.
He's wanting to break up with you but is way too cowardly and moronic to do it himself.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 August 2014):
 Should you dump him? Yes.
This is only a PEEK of how he will treat you (IF you LET HIM)- it's only been 7 months and his true nature is slipping out. THIS is who he is. The guy who paid attention to you, who spoiled you was the GUY who was trying to "catch" you. Now that he think he "has" you, he is reverting back to who he is, a douche canoe.
Now one thing though. Do not rely on a BF to "feed" you and "spoil" you. You are not a Golden Retriever and it's NOT a BF's job to BUY you things and feed you.
You can do much better.
And remember YOU are in CHARGE of how people treat you (up to a point) BY not allowing them to MISTREAT you.
Walk away, tell him bye bye bye.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (8 August 2014):
 No one deserves to be with someone that awful honestly. The obvious thing to do is break up with him like immediately and move on with your life as if he never existed. He is just showing his true colors now that he's becoming who he always wanted to be. At your age you don't need problems like that in your life. This stage of your life is supposed to be fun, exciting . . . A real adventure. Not about a jerk who thinks he's the bees knees! You need better. You can do much better. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 August 2014):
 Hehe, here's a guy who literally thinks " he's all that..and a bag of chips ".
I don't think he went through some weird personality change - I think he is now what he's always been, just now he is showing it, while first he had to be nicer to get the girl.
I agree with the others, you can do better.
...............................
A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (8 August 2014):
 Ha ha yes your right FA only a 16 year old would say something like that!
MJ
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (8 August 2014):
 mark says," Anyone who tells a GF they love themselves more then them is arrogant, insecure and deluded."
and 16
Sure save your feelings and teach him a lesson at the same time, Stop seeing him.
FA
...............................
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (8 August 2014):
Ditch this fool. Anyone who tells a GF they love themselves more then them is arrogant, insecure and deluded.
He sounds like he is insecure with himself right now and trying to get the perfect body at the gym to make himself feel better about himself, get more attention and feel less insecure. His arrogance about loving himself is actually the opposite - if he loved who he is he wouldn't behave that way. He is selfish, ignorant and delusional. I would find a nicer guy to date.
Mark
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2014): Yes I agree with wise owl, he needs to know it's not ok to treat you like this and you deserve better! Do you really want a man who treats you like this? Break it off and tell him why a a well... It might give him a reality check
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2014): Yes, it's time to back away from him. He's too impressed with himself. Before you do, maybe you should try and tell him how he has been behaving lately, and let him know you don't like it when he is conceited. If talking doesn't seem to get through to him. Kick him to the curb.
...............................
|
