A
female
age
41-50,
*nxiety
writes:My boyfirend of three years has asked for some time. We are supposed to move in together this December and i am starting school by his house this summer. He said that he loves me but just wants to be sure that this is it. We still talk a little on the phone and text here an there. I am so confused!!! We decided that we would not see each other for a month and at the end of the month we are going to meet and talk and see where he stands. I love him so much and knows he loves me too but, if he is not ready to move on to the next step, i think that i need to end it. We live an hour away from each other and used to spend the weekends together. I do not know what to do.. I have known him for 9 years and know that he does not rush into things.. but aaaaah and suggestions or thought???
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 June 2007):
 I have come to dislike the man. I don't think he is doing the right thing with you. By now, he should not be asking for time to make up his mind. I think he already knows he doesn't want to be with you but he doesn't want to deal with the consequences of letting you know.But, you need to be sure. I think I can feel what you are going through and I guess the waiting is killing you. Rather than the wait, it's the uncertainty. So, if I were you, I would remove the uncertainty. Go to the weekend dinner and tell him that you are leaving him. YOU give him a week or so to make up his mind. If he doesn't come up with an "answer" by then, well, you will have your answer.My heart is with you. Be strong.
A
female
reader, Anxiety +, writes (27 June 2007):
Anxiety is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe are meeting for dinner this weekend, and it has been three weeks since we started our break. I have a feeling that he is going to ask for more time, he originally wanted 3 months and i said i can't do that and we agreed to do it month to month. Should i give him one more month.. i love him and want to be with him but i do not want to waste my time either. How much time is enough... shouldn't he already know what he wants. Why is it so hard for men to take the next step?????=)
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (24 June 2007):
I'm not so sure whether he just wants to think things through. You've been together for three years already. I assume that the idea of moving in together did not come all of a sudden, but as a result of the time you've been with each other. I am afraid he should be sure by now. Maybe he's not, but then, staying away from you for one month does not seem like a good idea to me.Since you are moving closer to him, I have the feeling that it was you who suggested moving in together. If this is the case, maybe he's not ready yet; or, maybe he doesn't want to move in. It seems kind of odd to me that he asks you not to contact him for one month. If I were him, I would simply say that I need more time, and would never ask you to stay away, as that would surely upset you. If we suppose that he's afraid of hurting you, this time away is hurting you, too.I'm afraid there is not much you can do, however. If you love him, wait. A month is not that long a time. Wait for him, but be careful not to be the one who gets in contact with him. If I were you, I would tell him that he needs to come with an answer after that month. I wouldn't give him any more time; he's had three years to make up his mind.Good luck, though. And remember to keep your spirits up.
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A
female
reader, Anxiety +, writes (24 June 2007):
Anxiety is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthaks for the advise but i am still confused.
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (24 June 2007):
 Moving in together is a huge step to take and i think it is very admirable of him to take time out and make sure he feels it is the right thing to do, rather than rush into something and regret it.
You now also have the opportunity to think about if it's the right thing for you as well.
He says he loves you so have your thinking time give each other some space and meet up when the month is up and see how you both feel, if it's meant to be it will happen.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (24 June 2007):
 Moving in together is a big step and im sure he just wants to make totally sure you are the one before rushing in and setting up home together.
The month break is not a bad idea, it will give you both time to reflect and gather your thoughts and decide if this is what you both want.
If you feel after time that his heart is not there and he is still unsure of what he wants then maybe you should call it a day.
All the best x
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