A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im 32 and im ready for a baby. my boyfriends lovely but avoids talking about the future and doesnt know when he'll be ready for children. i really am ready now and its hurting me by waiting. i don't think he's ready to grow up. i love him so much and thought he was the one but should i wait? what do i do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 It's nice of you to update on the subject. Well, I think three years of relationship, and the fact you're living together, should be enough for him to know whether he wants to settle down with you or not. He's old enough to figure what he wants for the future, too, not just about you.I see a baby is important for you now. I assume you have discussed the subject with him, or you wouldn't talk about your feeling hurt by waiting. I also assume that he told you he doesn't know when he'll be ready for children.You want something he doesn't seem willing to give you. If the relationship works well in all other respects, maybe you should sit with him and discuss the matter seriously, in a relaxed environment, as Kenny suggests. If he doesn't say "yes", then you can take anything else to mean "no". If this happens, the relationship will go from bad to worse, and eventually you'll need to leave him.I think you've been waiting for some time. I don't think that the issue would be as important as it seems to be if you hadn't thought long about it.In general, his avoidance is a bad sign. Maybe you should get ready for the relationship to come to an end.Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007): we've been together for 3 years, live together and he's 31.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (24 June 2007):
I think I would need to know how long you've been together before giving an answer. If you've been together for a year or so, maybe it's too early. If you've been together like ten years, well, that's a whole different situation. Would you update on this?
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (24 June 2007):
 I think if you love him you should wait for him to come round to idea of starting a family together. Im don't know how old your boyfreind is but if he is your age or older then i would have thought he would be looking to settle down soon maybe.
I think this is something that you both have got to have a serious chat over. Why don't you both share a romantic dinner with candles and broach the subject then when you are both feeling relaxed.
Good luck x
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