A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys. Im a bit stuck... Ive been going out with my boyfriend for just over 10 months and things have been amazing! we've been so close and I really do love him. But about a year before he went out with me he broke up with this girl that he had been with for over three years and from what ive heard they were pretty close too. Like they went on several different holidays and did so many things together which is great. A few days ago out of the blue my boyfriend got a really long text from her saying that ever since the day they broke up shes been so depressed and she cant live without him any more and the text just goes on and on about how she loves him and he still means everything to her ect...This wouldn't normally bother me this much but i remember when me and him first got talking he spoke alot about how strongly he felt for her and how much fun they had and stuff, so the other day when this text appeared i started feeling slightly insecure. my boyfriend told me its not going to change anything between me and him because hes lost all feeling for her. but i still cant stop thinking about it, is it right for me to be bothered by this?? I also feel really bad for his ex because she seemed so sad. my boyfriend has stopped talking about it but i cant seem to drop it. help?!thanks x
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male
reader, UncleEd  +, writes (29 March 2009):
First, I am pleased that you have a nice relationship with this new guy. I am sure you feel that it is worth protecting. You don't have to feel bad about the other girl, since you don't know her except through her link with your boyfriend.
If he says he no longer has feeling for her, then you just have to trust him. Wait a week or two and ask him if he has had any more contact with her. Does his answer seem sincere and direct? Is he an honest guy in general? It is natural to feel somewhat protective of your new relationship, because you have invested your love and energy. Do look out for yourself and keep your radar switched on. There may not be much of a future for you with this guy if he starts getting involved with his ex.
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