A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is a bit embarrassing but...My boyfriend of four years has started doing something really strange when we have sex.He started doing that close to six months ago and I don't know why he started. When we are...in the act...he holds my head in his hands (and he has huge hands...and big feet for those who know what that means, lol) and he just doesn't let go. When I try to move away, he just grabs my hair as well and holds me down. And then he just looks straight into my eyes without looking away...It's really...weird. I find it very unnerving to have him looking at me like this. When I told him this, he just smile cryptically. He can be pretty mysterious at times.Is it normal? Do a lot of guys do this? And why? Is something different in our realtionship? Could something have triggered this?I'm so lost, I don't know what that means. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Are you dating Norman Bates? I believe that that's how HE behaves during coitus......
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (4 October 2012):
 That would weird me the hell out too. No idea why your bf would've started it suddenly, how about you ask him? You need to have open communication. Having awkward sex for 6 months isn't right. Ask him why he does it all of the sudden. Tell him to stop smiling cryptically and speak to you. That's also a little weird by the way, to say something on your mind and he just smiles... If he won't talk about it then state you are uncomfortable having sex in such a way and when he wants to grow up and have a conversation then you can work on it. I agree with honeypie's guess that he has been watching too much porn and is trying a dominance thing. Wouldn't fly with me that's for sure.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 October 2012):
 You need to VOCALIZE that you DO NOT LIKE it. Tell him. And he he doesn't lay off holding you down then there will be no sex.
To me it seems to be about dominance.
I honestly think you BF been looking at too much porn.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012): may be its new for you, but its not weird. Sex changes for people all the time through life, some moments become different than before. All i can tell you that looking into womens eyes is a sign of intimacy. If he was not doing it trying to look away all the time than i would be worried.Pulling your hair is very common. I dont know why they do it, may be they like to feel like they are dominating.if its not disgusting, then dont worry about. I had a lover who after also 4 years asked me to do something in my eyes really gross as to fondle his rear end while giving him oral, and not just on a surface, if you know what i mean. Now, that was gross, at least for me. I refused, and he was not that much insisting, but said that all his girlfriends before did it.He never asked for anything like that before, so i was a little surprised but only because it was gross for me. We broke up soon after but not because of that.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 Him staring at you is probably just a look of intimacy for most people. In relationships some people connect on this level and find it intimate to stare at each other, yet it is obvious you feel that it is uncomfortable. Maybe he just feels like looking at you or he wanted to try something new, either way if it is making you feel awkward then ask him to stop this.
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A
female
reader, GoVegan  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 My boyfriend does this to me too, but doesn't stare, that's kinda creepy. I kiss alot during sex and when he is about to finish he grabs my hair lightly and pushes me down and kisses me or my neck to stop making himself noisy. It's weird isn't it? But the staring is a bit weird? Try kissing him? Or you go on top and vice versa lol. Sorry not much help just letting you know that he isn't the only one who does this. (:
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