A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my guy and I were doing nicely.he is 4 years older than me.we work at same office, travel by the same bus.i met him 6 months ago. Soon we were so close(went for shopping,movie, beach and restaurant together even made love).everything was going smoothly when suddenly i had to work at other branch of our office.A new girl started talking to him.he would tell me everything whatever he talks to that girl.i could not take it and started feeling possessive. initially he was bothered about my reaction towards their casual talks.though that girl calls my guy as her sister i could not take it.after thinking a lot i realized that i should not have fought with him and called him.he had cut the call saying that he was busy.in the evening he text ed me.in real excitement i sent him more than 5 texts at a time.he did not reply.late in the night he told me that he had an issue and could not reply me.When i next checked his mobile i found he had been texting that gal instead of me.i just told him not to text me if he does not wants.i did-not call or text him the whole day but he had sent me good morn and good night msg. he knows very well that i was angry on him.After that we somehow made up and everything was going normal.but something was missing between us.though we sit together in bus he does not talks to me and texts that girl. it makes me irritated and frustrated.out of anger i fought with him and told that nobody can be happy with him.he got irritated and did not talk to me the whole day.but in public he acts as if everything is normal between us.but when alone he keeps his face as being irritated.i thought a lot and realized i should not have spoken such words and to make up his mind i made his favorite chocolate cake and gave him .but he declined it saying that he is no more interested in me and does not feel the comfort which he had earlier with me.he is irritated with my talks and told me not to call or text him and he does not feel like talking and texting me anymore.actually i love this guy very much and cant be without him . since he is so caring ,understanding , responsible.i was waiting for this guy the whole life and has never dated other guy.what do i do now ?please help me
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2013): OP it's over. You do nothing and you move on and I have to say OP you need to calm the hell down and learn to relax. Forgive me but you sound like a complete psycho, jealous, possessive, insecure and very high maintenance. You check up on him by checking his phone, you start fighting with him because he has female friend, you say you can't live without him after only a few months, you say you were waiting your entire life for him, you tell him no one can be happy with him and frankly act like a complete nutcase. Calm down.
OP this guy has moved on, he would be a fool to get back together with you because you're too hot and heavy, far too serious and far too controlling.
Stop waiting for some extra, special guy to come along and have some fun and date. Learn your lessons from this and learn not to be so serious about it. I mean seriously, it's just a break up with a guy you were with for a few months, you'll get over it and when you do, learn to respect guy's freedom and not to be so crazy about things. Dating is about fun, not fights, jealousy and checking up on each other.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (19 January 2013):
 Hi
Well it moved way too fast for him by the sounds of it and he wasn't as committed as you as he has shown by moving onto this new girl so fast. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't make a habit of it.
You were right to question him about the friendship but he has now made it clear it's over.Don't let him make you feel its all your fault either.
You CAN be without him, but it's going to take a while to get over him ,and you need to look after yourself,keep busy,see friends, do everything you can to get over him.
STOP texting him, sit somewhere else on the bus,just be professional at work.We have all been through our first break up and learnt from it,you WILL survive as the song says.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2013): Hi there,
Im afraid the guy thought you were just dating and not exclusive so that is why he no longer wants to see you. In his eyes what you did was uncalled for. Now he doesnt want to be around you. He acts normal at work so that there wont be an atmosphere. Leave him be, because there is no relationship now. Dont jump in to bed with him again cos he will only use you. He has made it clear by his actions that he no longer has a connection with you. Dont disrespect yourself by opening yourself up the getting in to a fwb situation because clearl you want more than he has to offer you, and trust me that wont happen now.
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A
female
reader, Speranza  +, writes (19 January 2013):
Hi there
Sorry you are going through such a stressful time! I have been in similar situations and know that it's not easy to deal with the guy you love always talking to some other girl.
I think that it's inappropriate behaviour. Your guy should be putting your relationship first - not the friendship he has with this girl. He needs to understand boundaries. Although it's ok for a guy to speak to other girls if he is a relationship, it crosses a line if he is ignoring you, not speaking to you when you're on the bus, etc.
I don't think you should blame yourself. I think that any woman in your position would eventually have had enough. I think that he has been pushing you away in a sense with his actions and is seeing your anger as an easy way out of the relationship. If he said he is no longer interested, then there really is nothing you can do. I would say give him space. Let him see what it's like without you. Let him miss you. If you push him into a corner to speak, he's not going to.
And if he doesn't come back, i think you need to remain focused on all the stress he put you through. You did not deserve to be with a guy who gave some other girl more attention than his own girlfriend.
Stay strong. x
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