A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I found out last night that my boyfriend wasn't a virgin, and for all the time we've been together I thought he was, since he told me I was his first girlfriend, so I just assumed...Since I thought we were both virgins, I thought the first time we had sex would be really special, but now I've found out that he lost his virginity to a prostitute, and I can't believe he thinks so little of doing it for the first time. I don't want to break up with him, because I know what he did wasn't that bad, but I can't help thinking of him with her, and that when he asks me to have sex with him he's thinking of how it was with her.Plus I'm worried that he's going to think you can have sex with the person you love the same way you do with a prostitute, it' in and out and that's it. Please help me sort out my feelings.
View related questions:
both virgins, prostitute Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): I was 25 when I was with a prostitute. lol Im just not what women like... especially most american women. But I made that decision thru counseling, I didnt just use my d*** and get it done with. ugh...Anyway, your BF is honest and this is good first off. Second, I will say that no way in hell will I ever look at a woman like the hooker I was with. Why? Cause I had no feelings for her and your BF has feelings for you. Thus, making your sexual connection unique and different than any woman hes ever been with.I sense some possible jealousy issues here thats okay. You just needs reassurance for your insecurity and the best way to do that is just have him tell you and also show you that youre special to him in many ways and that not only appreciates your body, but your mind as well. When it comes to sex, focus on the big picture and that he is with you now and is past brought him to you and all that matters is the future. I went and did my business cause my confidence was drained and I was depressed as f*** and frustrated like you couldnt believe... now, i feel much better and ive only had sex once lol... its just a matter for me in changing environment but im a weird effed up case lady. Message me anytime if u wish. My best your way.
A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (12 March 2011):
 What to do about it depends on you. Can you let it go or was it really important to you for you and the boy to both be "pure" the first time you have sex?
I don't think you would be so upset about this if you had know from the begining that he had already had sex, and the fact that it was with a prostitute has little to do with it.
Your are upset because for a long time you thought things were one way, and now they are another. Nothing has really changed here except your perception.
And as with any situation in life there are both pro's and con's. The pro's are that him knowing what he is doing should help him be a better lover for your first time, which means you will enjoy it more. And that instead of being as nervous as you are he will more considerate of you and your feelings and be 100% focused on you and the gift you are giving him.
Because it is a woman's gift. Boys just don't happen to look at it that way for themselves. To them virginity is mostly an embarrassment, and the sooner they get rid of it the better they feel.
And please don't worry that he will make love to you like a prostitute. First of all there is no comparison between making love and a 15 minute quicky that he had to pay for.
The only con is that you need to be sure he used protection
with her and wears a condom with you. And finally, Yes it would have been nice if it was the first time for both of you, but it will still be special because it's you (the girl he loves) that he is doing it with and because this is still the first time you are both making love not just having sex.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): I'm sorry you had your hopes up for him being a virgin before hearing the story. That hurts a lot I know.
I would not worry that he will think sex is the same way with you and her. If anything, I think it would be more likely that he would like to make it different from that experience. Guys that lose it with prostitutes usually don't say it was too great of a time.
...............................
|
