A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:First of all a bit of background information. Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 2 years and our relationship is pretty serious. Recently we've both been happier and better than ever, and have even spoken about marriage. Overall our relationship has been really happy and healthy. I even believe he was preparing to propose after being told he had bought an expensive engagement ring from a friend. However, 3 nights ago we had a drunken argument over text message, it wasn't a bad fight but I do acknowledge it was my fault. He was out with his friends and I was out with mine, so he missed out on being with them while texting with me which must have annoyed him. Towards the end of the argument he told me he would message me in the morning when I've calmed down and when I asked if we'd broken up he said no. However, for the past 3 days I have had no contact from him and he's also blocked me on almost every platform. He's blocked my phone number, my Facebook, Instagram and even Twitter. My mother tried to contact him but he blocked her as well. I spent the first day frantically calling him and trying to message him as I was really worried something had happened to him but no reply. He's never done anything like this before and it's normal for us to talk for hours daily. Eventually that same day I went to his place but he wasn't in, so posted a letter saying that I was sorry and hoped we were okay and also wrote that I really appreciate him and everything he does for me. Since then I haven't tried to contact him. Does anyone have any idea why he might have blocked me off everything? Does this mean that we've broken up or is there still hope? Or is he trying to teach me a lesson? Really needing some advice and opinions right now as I'm very confused!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2016): I think there is far too much immaturity being displayed between the two of you. You're far too young for marriage. Marriage demands a lot of maturity and good judgment. You're both acting like high school kids.
You're getting what's called the silent treatment. He knows you value constant communication, almost to excess. You're needy and demand constant attention. Emotionally, you're high maintenance. The phone constantly alerting incoming messages and streams of contact over social media is stifling and annoying. He's taking a break from it all.
You won't convince me it was only one night's drunken issue. It is a culmination over time. This and many other things. People rarely break-up in an instant. Things have to come to a head.
Ignoring people to hurt them is cruel. It's an evil tool when you know it causes them agony. He completely shut you off, and it was done with malice. That's being a mean little boy. He refuses to come out and play.
So back-off. Show no further anxiety over this. This is a valuable lesson. Calming down, regains your power over your own emotions. It takes the wind out his sales. Your composure is a sign of maturity and self-control.
Take this advice. Stop expressing your anxieties and insecurities with constant messaging. If it has been three days, he's likely done with you. He went through great lengths to block your contact. You may be smothering him with love. Too eager to be proposed to. He may have only been thinking about it, not actually intending to do it.
I think this might slow things down a bit. To your benefit. You both need more time to mature. I think you both need more experience; and maybe to see other people, to gain more life-experience. Your mother shouldn't meddle in these matters. Her job is to console you, not to track down your boyfriend on your behalf. That in itself proves how immature you're behaving. Until mother has to step-in to soothe and coddle you to stop your crying and emotionalizing.
Get a grip, girlfriend! Mothers only go that far when their daughters are complete drama-queens. She's afraid you'll crack. Take a chill pill. Give both your man and mom a break.
Take a long deep breath. Find something to occupy your time and gain some control over your impulse to message your boyfriend. Wean yourself from the need to seek constant reassurance, and knowledge of what the other person is doing every moment. Be able to enjoy yourself with friends and learn to appreciating your "me-time." He's catching up on his. So should you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 July 2016):
 STOP trying to contact him.
Figure out how many days YOU are willing to let him IGNORE you and let's say you think 7 days ( a week) is your limit.. well after 7 days of no contact I would consider you single.
Now I DO get that arguments can make you NOT want to talk to someone. but I don't think blocking someone is ever an OK thing to do to someone you are dating. EVEN if you were relentless is arguing with him on his night out (and seriously, that is messed up, girl) HE could have told you talk to you tomorrow and turned his phone off. Now you then MIGHT have (my guess is you would) bombarded him on social media to continue the argument (again STUPID thing to do, arguing over TEXT fixes nothing.) So in a way I CAN see why he did it, I just don't think silent treatment is EVER a healthy way to deal with arguments.
Is he trying to teach you a lesson? What does he think you are, 5?
Maybe you DID go over the top (and sorry, OP apologizing doesn't make your actions OK) but I don't see how silent treatment is a solution. EVER.
So I think YOU need to decide... if you are OK with that kind of behavior from someone claiming to love you.
And then hopefully you LEARNED something from this farce.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 July 2016):
 You are still quite young and well his behavior sounds immature. If he cannot handle you both having an argument then he is not ready to be in a committed relationship am afraid. He is acting like a child.
Speaking about marriage is one thing, but being prepared and in the right place is another. Sweetie from his behavior it is clear to see he is not ready for marriage, he thinks it is okay to block you from everything and have no contact, he does not want to talk to you, that is clear, but he was not mature enough to tell you the truth so he has just done a runner. I agree that if you are both out with friends then there should be no need for texting unless off course you both want to, but that does not give him reason to block you from everything, there must be another reason why he is so angry with you. It really is not fair on you because you are left unsure off what you have done or where you stand with this guy, although he has shown that he does not care if he worries you. The best thing you can do for now is try and move on. I think the relationship is basically over.
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