A
female
age
36-40,
*onfusedwoman!
writes:im 21 years old and my boyfriend has chosen to take a gap year in australia. he has been gone for 7 weeks and im missin him so much but wondering if it is worth it? he had already booked to go away before we got together so everytime i try and talk to him he said u knew this was what was happening. im so confused about the entire situation and im wondering if im too young to wait a year on someone? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, monkeytoees +, writes (5 December 2009):
also, what the hell? why is that his answer for you? he should still explain to you everything? and if he knew that he was going for a year what the hell was he doing letting a girl fall for him if thats his attitude!
A
female
reader, monkeytoees +, writes (5 December 2009):
hey! im in the exact same boat as you, i dont know if it has been quite an issue for you 2 because it was for us, we argued about it all the time, did he ever tell u how he felt about you before he went? because that was my boyfriends problem he was too scared or worried to tell me how he felt and that was what caused the problems of him going travelling! i went through hell before he went, he changed his mind every2minutes about what he wanted from me, and when he saw how much it upset me he thought hed try and end things all together with me, so i have been through hard times dont worry, we eventually got through this problem and he miraculously grew up in the last 3 days he was here and began appreciating me, i think it finally kicked in he was going, thats why i stuck it out i knew he would finally see sense, because he broke up with me before saying travelling was the reason and that he didnt love me, but came running back hoping it would work out when he went away? so i knew deep down he must have cared about me alot...To be honest i think you waiting around when he is away is not fair, are you still boyfriend and girlfriend?? because you shouldnt be, me and my boyfriend are on a break, hoping to get back together when he comes back, but we stay in contact as much as possible via email, didnt you two ever suggest something like that?? because it is a year and your both only human, and things may happen with other people, not neccesarily because you have fallen out of love or hate your boyfriend or him you, its because its a long time to be away from someone, and things happen, and who knows if he does hook up with a few girls when his out there, it might make him appreciate you so much mor eand realise what he has with you is way more important then these girls. I say dont nag him let him do what he wants, just email eachother, youll soon beable to tell what he sees you as by the things he writes to you in the email i.e. little jokes u 2 have he still puts in, says that he misses you/loves you, or weather he is blunt with you, if he is blunt with you in the emails i say move on and forget about him. Just out of curiousity has he shortened down how long his going for or anything, because most boys only realise what a good thing theyve got when they are out there, because mine has realised his out there for way too long. This could also be another sign that he is hoping that things are back to normal when he comes back. Lol im going on and on, but my best advice to you is dont panic too much! keep your mind occupied, avoid sneaking around on his facebook/myspace to see what his friends have been writing about the trip as well, because his single friends will be writing stuff about the girls out ther etc. but trust your man if he says he hasnt done anything with a girl, dont read what his friends put, because i do that and i have to double take and think hang on, my boyfirned had never cheated or lied to me about something so important, and he has told me he hasnt done anything with anyone else so i should trust him and not listein to his mates!! just chill and get on with your life, but still keep in contact, just realise that if he has gone for a year alot can change, what if u meet someone else and he comes back wanting u still? you cant just point the finger at him, i hope your finding it easier !
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A
female
reader, monkeytoees +, writes (5 December 2009):
hey! im in the exact same boat as you, i dont know if it has been quite an issue for you 2 because it was for us, we argued about it all the time, did he ever tell u how he felt about you before he went? because that was my boyfriends problem he was too scared or worried to tell me how he felt and that was what caused the problems of him going travelling! i went through hell before he went, he changed his mind every2minutes about what he wanted from me, and when he saw how much it upset me he thought hed try and end things all together with me, so i have been through hard times dont worry, we eventually got through this problem and he miraculously grew up in the last 3 days he was here and began appreciating me, i think it finally kicked in he was going, thats why i stuck it out i knew he would finally see sense, because he broke up with me before saying travelling was the reason and that he didnt love me, but came running back hoping it would work out when he went away? so i knew deep down he must have cared about me alot...To be honest i think you waiting around when he is away is not fair, are you still boyfriend and girlfriend?? because you shouldnt be, me and my boyfriend are on a break, hoping to get back together when he comes back, but we stay in contact as much as possible via email, didnt you two ever suggest something like that?? because it is a year and your both only human, and things may happen with other people, not neccesarily because you have fallen out of love or hate your boyfriend or him you, its because its a long time to be away from someone, and things happen, and who knows if he does hook up with a few girls when his out there, it might make him appreciate you so much mor eand realise what he has with you is way more important then these girls. I say dont nag him let him do what he wants, just email eachother, youll soon beable to tell what he sees you as by the things he writes to you in the email i.e. little jokes u 2 have he still puts in, says that he misses you/loves you, or weather he is blunt with you, if he is blunt with you in the emails i say move on and forget about him. Just out of curiousity has he shortened down how long his going for or anything, because most boys only realise what a good thing theyve got when they are out there, because mine has realised his out there for way too long. This could also be another sign that he is hoping that things are back to normal when he comes back. Lol im going on and on, but my best advice to you is dont panic too much! keep your mind occupied, avoid sneaking around on his facebook/myspace to see what his friends have been writing about the trip as well, because his single friends will be writing stuff about the girls out ther etc. but trust your man if he says he hasnt done anything with a girl, dont read what his friends put, because i do that and i have to double take and think hang on, my boyfirned had never cheated or lied to me about something so important, and he has told me he hasnt done anything with anyone else so i should trust him and not listein to his mates!! just chill and get on with your life, but still keep in contact, just realise that if he has gone for a year alot can change, what if u meet someone else and he comes back wanting u still? you cant just point the finger at him, i hope your finding it easier !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): It depends how much you love him and if you think you could have something special together in the future? Did he mention you going with him? Could you plan to go out and see him say half way through for a month or something? Then maybe it wouldnt seem so long.
The thing is he could change a lot whilst he is travelling and may come back wanting completely different things. You run the risk of waiting a year only for him to come back and decide the relationship isnt for him or he may feel obligated to stay with you since you have waited that long.
I think it will put you through a lot of stress to wait a year. Maybe you should disuss breaking it off and seeing what happens when he gets back?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): He's travelling his path, you travel yours. Do what you want to do
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