A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear all. Please help. I can't sleep as I found out my BF has been using casual sex websites to hook up with different girls for no strings sex. I feel sick. I have been very intimate with him and was deeply in love with him. We have had a rough time latley, and we are not talking at all at the moment. I always had a suspicion something was not qutie right, and now i have concrete evidence. I cannnot concentrate at work, I am sleeping very badly, and depressed. I have tried to get over it, and keep busy but it's not shifting at all. I am in emotional pain and feel nauseous. What can I do to move on ? I feel ill when I think of him having these random hook ups with women rather than sorting things out with me and getting our relationship back on track. Please advise- I am really suffering. Thanks.
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at work, depressed, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, White_Lilly +, writes (24 August 2012):
 I agree with Karlos5021, not much to add.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2012): Its ok hun , it doesn't cost me nothing to give advice so I don't mind lol.
We've all been there so I know how you feel. But you get over it with time and determination :) x
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (24 August 2012):
 "Sounds" to me like you and your B/F have just about no compatibility.... and it's time for the two of you to go your separate ways....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Karlos, thank you very much for your nice and good answer. i will go to my GP. Yes, I suspect he is at it all the time now we are apart. I am gutted, but I guess I will have to let the pain pass. Am planning to keep busy as much as possible now. Thanks xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2012): My honest opinion is, he won't change! So I wouldn't bother trying to sort things out with him.
If he can do this to you while you were together, can you imagine how many more women he could have hooked up with now that you're not together?
Get yourself checked out at a clinic first for any nasty surprises, then if you feel that depressed and can't sleep, maybe go to your GP and get some mild anti-depressants/sleeping pills prescribed to you temporarily. This should help you get better night sleeps and also lift your mood to help you get motivated for the days and for work.
Continue to keep yourself busy to occupy your mind, maybe even find a hobby for after work and weekends if you have the time, and allow time to do the rest hun.
You won't feel bad forever, but don't chase after him or listen to his excuses if he decides to come groveling to you.
The best thing you can do is tell yourself he's no good and you deserve better, look forward to the future and don't look back.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (24 August 2012):
 Hi
What he has done is deliberate and intentional, its not like meeting some random woman in the pub is it? Hes created a profile, chatted to and met up with women.
Its not surprising you feel ill, in shock whatever, but he clearly has no desire to have a healthy relationship with you or anyone for that matter.
He has a problem.Seems to think women are there to be used by him. You are in no way to blame.Theres nothing to talk about really, he made his choice.
The person who is cheated on always suffers, but there is no happy future with him so you have to accept it eventually.And yes, do get checked out, you need to make sure he hasn't passed anything on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, the thing is., I clicked on a 'conversation' with a womans name in yahoo in his email account, then could not read it, then it clicked on to a link in it that led to this casual sex site. So he must have been looking for it? domne it , or about to do it.. You are right - as soon as things got tough he did that. No , I don;t really wnat to work things out, but I am a decent woman, and can;t understand why he would need to do this I have been very good to him., and am devastated.x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 August 2012):
 Well, first of all I would suggest that you go get a STD/STI panel done. If he has been doing NSA sex, you (or he) have no idea what kind of people he has been having sex with and... if it was safe sex.
Secondly, DO you WANT to stay with a guy who does that when things get tough in the relationship?
Of course you aren't able to just snap your fingers and be OK with this. For most people it's rather devastating to be cheated on. What I suggest is that you ACCEPT that this was HIS actions. That it's NOT OK in a relationship, no matter how much he want to blame it on you, the relationship, alcohol, friends or what not, that HE had a choice. A choice to work it out with you, a choice to end the relationship, and a choice to cheat. THE cheating is about him.
Do you really want to work things out with him?
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A
male
reader, perrythanks +, writes (24 August 2012):
 Well i'll give u a bit of advice if he is doing that dump him like if your single why not go on those sites for fun, but if your with someone its just like cheating ent it. You don't have to take my advice but i thought i would give you my opinon
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