A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just found out my BF of 2 years has been masterbating to his EX these 2 years. I came out and asked him and since he told me.She has huge boobs...he is a boob guy...I have great boobs 34D but they are not gigantor.I am very hurt about this.He loves me so much and feels bad about this.I feel betrayed and dont know if I can get these images out of my head.I would love some feedback.Disturbed and Disappointed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): tell him hes got to make it up to you BIG TIME hes got to grovel for you and really show you hes worth staying with her for
and if after hes done what he can to make it up and if you feel that hes made up it and dont feel bad at all then keep on going with the relationship..
but if you still feel bad then he hasnt gone through with his responbility of making it up and you should DUMP HIM
and find someone who wont masterbate over their exs photos honestly what a stupid guy i feel sorry for you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): Did he say he was masturbating to her photos because she has big boobs, or were those just your thoughts/opinions? Obviously you have plenty to keep any man satisfied. Yes, he loves you and he feels bad about it. Of course he's going to say that. More likely he feels bad because you feel bad now that you know what he's been doing. If he feels so darned bad about it, why has he been doing it for the last 2 years?So now the true test is, is he going to stop doing it and how will you know for sure that he has? If it's not her photo, is it photos of other women? Why is he wasting his time with pictures when he's got you? Not a good step towards a solid relationship based on love, honesty and respect. Love for you, honesty to you, and respect for you.You can give him a chance, but keep an eye on him and pursue open, honest communication with him. If he can't curb this, then you seriously need to consider finding someone who will spend his energy on you, and let your (ex)BF continue to live in his own fantasy world.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): I would be disturbed too. Mind you its actually only the fact she's an ex surely. I mean if it was just porn would that be ok? Personally I think its a clear message he still prefers her sexually so before he undermines and humiliates you any further I would plan your revenge and leave.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 November 2008):
 The title says that he's looking at photos but you didn't say there were pictures involved. Are there?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): Aha! The 'Tribute Splat'.
Not a very nice thing to be caught doing when you've got a new woman in your life. Please don't dump him. Not yet anyway. Think 'Logical Mercenary'. It's coming up to Christmas and this should be worth a huge rock set in gold and platinum, or a similar piece of jewellery, plus a shipload of perfume as his penalty. Once you've got your Christmas bonus only then should you dump him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): If it were me it would hurt like hell. It's infidelity, directing his sexual desires at someone other than the one he loves, and can only make you feel incredibly inadequate. This must be one of the more hurtful things that could happen to a person.
The question is: Is he in love with this old girlfriend? Does he contact her? If not, then basically what she has left him is an indelible "sexual memory". It's possible to think of an old flame sexually, long after they have left the scene. Normally that should disappear once you find a new source of sexual satisfaction, but I guess it would be possible to think back to sexual times together when the urge struck. So it's rather important to know how he thinks of her -- just as a sexual fantasy, or in a more loving and intimate manner. Not much consolation, I guess, but it might help ease the hurt a little. Sorry I can't be more helpful.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (17 November 2008):
Wow, just the thought of my hubbie doing that makes me want to pack up empty out the bank account and be gone when he gets home.
That is borderline cheating on you.
Is it really about the boobs? Did he say that, because there are lots of big boobed girls in papers and magazines and they are all airbrushed to impossible perfection. I think if he is choosing to look at his ex, it is not because you've failed in some way by not having a good enough body (we both know that is not true). I don't think it's anything to do with you. It's all to do with her.
As I said, my first reaction is "how dare he! dump him!" but do you want to throw away what you have without knowing the truth.
Porn stars look like they do because men are supposed to see them as disposable sex objects. The ones that you only ever want to see for one night.
Perhaps he sees his ex as a bit of a slut and therefore she is fine to be abused and cum over and then put away in a drawer.
Where as you are his girlfriend and when he has sex with you, it's all about how much he loves you.
Let him know that he is on VERY thin ice, and tell him that he has to explain what is going through his head. He has to make you understand.
Plus he has to grovel and beg as well.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (17 November 2008):
 I think it's pretty disturbing, too.
It's one thing for someone to fantasize over pornography, but in my opinion... fantasizing about an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is drifting into more hurtful territory.
If it were just about breasts, there are plenty of huge-breasted women on the internet... but specifically to a photograph of an ex-girlfriend is...
Well, it's definitely more disturbing. Especially if it's been for 2 years. It sounds like he has some unresolved issues.
Whatever you decide to do, I don't think anyone would blame you.
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