A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My current boyfriend has been talking to his ex much more often as of late, and I've seen some of the messages they've sent to each other over MySpace, and it seems like they both still have feelings for eachother. I want to confront him, but I'm not sure how. How should I go about talking to him about this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): Let me just say your boyfriend is disrespecting you. When you are in a relationship it should be ALL ABOUT YOU AND HIM. You should not even have to be in this position to worry about crap like this. MYSPACE is the ultimate exposure for people to mess up their relationships. Since they are corresponding, they are disrespecting you. Therefore, I would dump him. There are no in betweens...maybe this will help him in the future to get his head out of his ass, and focus on one woman. Sounds like a jerk.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 If you've seen their messages on myspace, I'm assuming they're public knowledge, so tell him what you saw and ask him what's up?
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A
male
reader, Karlos Omnis  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 I agree a little with anonymous on some levels, but not others.Just because he is in contact with her on Myspace (which i'd like to point out now, anyone can look at so it's not like he's trying to hide it from you) doesn't mean any red flags should go up.My girlfriend stays in contact with three of her ex's, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest, they're just companions for her.If it makes you feel uneasy, explain to him why gently, and he'll reassure that there's nothing there.But if you attack him with it, then it really won't have the desired effect.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): I had a smiliar problem I just said you have feelings for your ex and I can't ignore like there is nothing I did explain it and made clear why the breakup occured... why because I had to show to much afflection and reassurance which I knew I couldn't do for the next years to come... managing your own life is a headache and managing someone elses past life or love is another job... think to yourself could you handle it in the years to come?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): Just be calm, unconfrontational (cause you don't know all the facts, so don't jump to conclusions) and above all be straightforward. Tell him what you found. And ask him what's going on. Just like that.
Then listen to what he has to say. See how he reacts. If he acknowledges your concern, admits it was a mistake and says he'll never do it again, then believe him and let it go. And make sure he knows and agrees that you are not ok with him talking to his ex girlfriend. Be assertive.
But if he gets defensive and shows little regard for your concern, then you have got a problem and should rethink this relationship. Cause there is no good reason he should be talking with his ex if he is with you.
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