A
female
age
30-35,
*uddlybear
writes:I really dont know what to do anymore! I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have a 6 month old son. He works nights and I look after our son.He gets really naggy over the slightest thing and will shout, swear, and punch the walls. I try to stop him, but it seems to make him even angrier. I'm no saint, I guess sometimes I do wind him up, but the majority of the time it's just if he's not happy with something. We argue constantly because of it, which makes things worse. He keeps promising he will change but I'm sick of hearing sorry. He said he never got angry like this until he met me.p />I dont want my little boy growing up around anger, but on the other side he's a brilliant dad and boyfriend when hes not angry.I dont know what to do any more, I threaten to throw him out, but he has nowhere to go and his family doesn't talk to him, but I wouldnt really want him to go, I love him so much, and he loves me. Is he ever going to change? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 If he has agreed to seek counseling for anger management, that's fantastic! That tells me there is hope for him. Your boyfriend has acknowledged he has anger issues, and is willing to work on this problem... that’s an excellent sign that he will benefit from seeking help.
According to your profile, you live in the U.K. I'm in the U.S., so I'm not too familiar with your healthcare system. Do you live in England… or elsewhere? Assuming you live in England, the NHS is your public healthcare system. According to the NHS, there are several options for you.
First, if you are tight on money… you probably want to utilize the public healthcare option. So, the first thing he needs to do is make an appointment with his doctor (General Practitioner). At that appointment, he needs to tell the doctor he has anger management issues and is seeking a referral for additional help. I suggest you accompany him to his appointment, so the two of you can discuss the severity of the problem with the doctor. The doctor will then decide what type of therapy will suit your boyfriend’s needs. Do this IMMEDIATELY… these programs fill up fast, and according to the NHS website, he may be put on waiting list. So make that call today!
Another option… if money isn’t an issue, you may want to seek help through a private therapist who specializes in anger management. If this is the route you decide to take, you can ask your doctor to recommend someone for you, or you can do a search on your own to find a reputable counselor who employs cognitive behavioral therapy as a means to treat those with anger issues.
Make sure you carefully read the information regarding help for anger management, provided by the NHS website. All of the information I have given you came from their website. Here is the link:
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Anger-management/Pages/Getting-help.aspx
Please let me know if you do not live in England, and I will find the appropriate website for your particular healthcare system. Also, if you decide to look for a private therapist, I can search for additional information for you. It’s very important that the therapist is licensed and accredited.
I hope you find this information helpful. Please let us know what you and your boyfriend decide to do. Keep us updated. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Cuddlybear +, writes (1 February 2011):
Cuddlybear is verified as being by the original poster of the question I have tried and he agreed to go but we didnt know how to go about that type of thing?
He shot at you?? thats abit extreme!
...............................
A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (31 January 2011):
The only way I see him getting better is if he begins counseling for anger management. If I were you, I would ask him to do this immediately. Have you two talked about this? If so, what was his response?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011): Personal experience.. sorry he won't change. I thought the same with my first husband then one day he got so mad he got a gun and shot me. I'm not saying this will happen to you.You have to decide what's best for you and your child. I left and never looked back.
...............................
|
