A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are having trouble keeping our sex drives in sync. He says he is satisfied with sex 2 times a week whereas I would prefer 2 or 3 times a DAY if I could (well I wouldn't expect that but basically the more I can get, the happier I am). So often I try to initiate sex but he's just not in the mood, or is tired. We've been seeing each other for almost a year and I'm starting to feel sexually frustrated. Right now we have compromised and have sex 3-4 times a week, even though we see each other every day so we have time for more. Sometimes when we have sex I don't orgasm, because he finishes too fast or doesn't want to spend the time pleasing me. So I probably only come about 3 times a week with him, I have to take care of myself. I masturbate several times a day to porn, to try and stop feeling so sexually frustrated but I'm craving real men, I find myself fantasizing about men on the train, or in the mall, or on the TV, basically any attractive man I see, all I can think of is him inside me or eating me out. I am starting to resent my boyfriend for his low sex drive but I feel like we are perfect everywhere else. What do I do to increase his sex drive? Or how do I get him to at least give me special attention if he's not going to have sex with me? I'm not a nymphomaniac or anything, I just really love sex... and he doesn't seem to... why is that?
View related questions:
in the mood, orgasm, porn, sex drive, sexually frustrated Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): There isn't to much you can do to increase his sex drive. This is the reason so many older woman are having affairs with young men. A twenty year old male will be in his sexual prime. A woman reaches her sexual prime at around forty. sex is the reason i no longer date my eighteen year old x girl friend, She couldn't keep up to me. I have found the perfect partner in a thirty six year old woman if i,am horny at work chances are she is to. if you are a young couple its only going to get worse as you and your partner age. You will only crave sex more and he will desire sex less and less as time goes on. I would recommend finding a good looking young man that could and would please you. I no it sounds horrible but really how long can you hold out before your lust gets the best of you. I cheated on my loving x for a year before i just started dating this older woman she gives me what i crave what i need. Maybe you should do the same.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): Wow the situation you have described sounds exactly like what I am going through.
Have your sex drives always been out of sync? All I can suggest you do is discuss it with him, tell him how frustrated you are with the amount of sex you guys are having. Ask him what his fantasies are (if you don't already know) if it takes a nurses outfit or you playing with some toys to get something out of him then so be it!
I find it a bit worrying that after a year with him you are not always orgasming? After a year that routine should be down pat! Maybe some communication is lacking?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): My first reaction was to think there should be more women like you in the world and it would be a happier place!
If you have sex 3-4 times a week and you orgasm 3 times, that's not too bad a success rate - 75%-100%!
Maybe he feels that he's been pressured into it when he's not feeling like it, which could be the reason he's not into it as much as you. It should be a spontaneous activity but any man worth his salt should know that a woman needs a fair bit of foreplay before getting down to business and if he's not getting you worked up like that you should slow him down and tell him you need more oral etc before you're likely to be ready. The only problem with that might be that he gets bored and loses his erection, which won't bode too well for the next time due to performance anxiety on his part.
I guess it's a case of striking a happy medium which I'd say you've gone some way to achieving by increasing the frequency a little, but he has to be in the mood or it's a non-starter.
So to get him in the mood you might have to resort to dressing up a little in titillating underwear and wearing his favourite perfume. Get his brain in the mood as well as his other organs, because that's the main organ to excite, and where the impulse for sex comes from.
And you do seem to have nymphomaniac tendencies by the sound of it!
...............................
|
