A
female
age
26-29,
*arahbeara23
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together about a year now. He's almost 25 I'm 23. Hes already got one child a beautiful little girl whos 1 and a half. But lately I find myself wanting one of my own more and more. One who can call me momma. Her mother is still in her life so he doesn't want her calling me mom or having a nickname like that. (He grew up with separate parents and never did the whole nick name thing. And he doesnt want to maks his babymomma feel some type of way) And I get all that. But how do I have a talk with him saying I want a child of my own. I want the title of mom. We make jokes how we dont Need one a lot. But I want one... Help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (20 January 2020):
 You already know that you guys don't need one which leads me to believe that the two of you aren't quite where you would like to be in life. The two of you have only been together for about a year, that definitely isn't long enough to make that sort of a lifetime commitment. You're looking to be fulfilled but this isn't how to achieve fulfillment. I agree with the pet suggestion. It will help you figure out a lot of things about yourself. Until then, do NOT bring a child into this world. The guy doesn't need two baby momma's... His head is already spinning with just one.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2020):
 You definitely DO NOT need a child.
1. you have ONLY been together a year, HE already has a child (which means financial responsibility to another woman and child).
And like Auntie Cindy so perfectly says, THINK about what YOU have to offer a child right now. Can you offer a good solid home? A mom and a DAD who are both there? Because, again it's ONLY been a year so things might be great now, but add a baby and it might NOT be so great. Do you make enough to be a potential single mom? Can you pay for ALL the things you will need to RAISE this kid well? Because again, you are very young and so is your BF. A kid is definitely not a doll to dress up or an accessory.
If you want the title of "mom" start with a pet. IF you can handle and keep a pet, all the bills for food, grooming, veterinarian visits, boarding if/when needed. Then down the line you might also be able to raise a child. I don't say that to patronize you but the honest truth is, it's EASY to MAKE a baby (for most people) and it's EASY to call yourself mom or dad. BUT it is VERY hard work to raise kids well and it is EXPENSIVE. Even having a pet is a HUGE commitment. Especially if you work long hours. And in order to make a good income it usually mean working long hours.
And like Cindy said, you might WANT one doesn't mean you should.
There are PLENTY of things in life I WANT, but I might never get. That is how it goes.
You still have PLENTY of time to reproduce. chill and work on growing up, building a future.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (20 January 2020):
 I’m close to your age and, in the nicest possible way, you need to wake up! STOP IT. You are not in the right place to have a child. You and your boyfriend are still new, young, no commitments, etc.Of course you’re not called Mum! You’re not married to him and you’ve only been together for a year, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things.Look, it’s totally okay to want a baby someday, but it is not okay to rush it because you want to be called Mum. You presumably don’t see his kid enough to know how much of a nightmare they are. It is so much more than cute photos, cuddles and the Mum title.He’s being sensible; you are NOT READY for a baby human being. Get married first. Save up. Have a better reason for wanting a baby than hormones and “I want to be called Momma”.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2020): Why don t you talk to the baby daddy to be, and get married to him, so you can become a wife, before becoming another knocked up baby momma? GOD, please help the poor little children who have parents with no common sense and morality!!!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 January 2020):
 If I have ever heard a bad reason for wanting a child, " I want the title of mom " is that.
What you say is absurd. Ok, I guess you feel what you feel and you have no choice in that- but one does not necessary have to act on all their feelings , impulses and emotions.
Very often I feel like I'd like to kick in their butts some annoying people and nothing would give more joy… yet I don't do it because it's a bad idea.
A child is not a puppy or a doll or a CareBear. It's not something to make you feel all warm and fuzzy , or make you feel important and valuable.
It works the other way; before having children , you think what you've got to GIVE them , not what you can take from them ( like, affection, social prestige, self-Worth etc. )
If you already know that , as of now , " you don't need one a lot " ( which is not hard to believe, considering your young age, the short time you have been dating, the lack of a rock-solid committment, and the baby momma drama …) then do not even bring up the subject ( and double check your birth control system until you aren't on more solid ground in terms of maturity and relationship ). But you want one ?... Well, " you can't always get what you want ", I am sure you 've heard that ?
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