A
female
age
22-25,
*el04
writes:Dear CupidMy boyfriend and I started dating from last year MayI've really fallen for Him and he has tooHe spent so much on me and made sure I was happyJust last month, he cried confessing to me that he's impregnated someone mistakenly and he's apologizing that I should move on because he's scared they'll ask him to marry the lady and I'll be disappointed laterUp to now I still have tears in my heart though he still calls me that whenever I need something, I should call him immediately... He always said he's regretted and sorry for disappointing me I'm really hurt and I can't believe that it's true because all the months that we've been together, there's nothing suspicious...I still love him deeply and want us together, please tell me what to do
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male
reader, kenny  +, writes (25 April 2021):
 I'm just going to cut to the chase OP and say your best bet here would be to finish with him, cut contact, delete him on everything and move on.
Why do i say this?. For one he has lied and cheated on you and crossed the trust barrier.
Trust is the most important contributing factor that bind a relationship together, without trust a relationship is doomed to fail. He has broken this trust OP, he has lied and cheated, so are you going to stick around and risk this happening again.
This stems deeper than you found out he kissed someone else behind you back. He had unprotected sex with someone, which he made a conscious decision to do, and now he has impregnated someone.
Things are now going to get messy, there will be lots of drama, and the baby's mother will be in your lives for the next 20 years.
OP, you are young, my advice would be to walk away from this situation, cut contact with him and move on with your life. Hold your head up high and end things, and go out and enjoy the fun and joy of being in your early 20's brings.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2021): He had unprotected-sex. He didn't get someone pregnant by mistake; it was by accident, because neither of them took any precaution to avoid it!!! He was one guy to your face; but someone else behind your back!
He's probably as young as you are. Young-love is often too forgiving, full of fairytale-romanticism; and usually overlooks red-flags and warnings. You're apt to forgive him for anything; and that will come with much regret!
You are in denial, and caught-up in your feelings. There is now a baby and another female in the picture. She must think she loves him too!
What's buying you things have to do with anything? That isn't love. Gifts don't substitute for being faithful and trustworthy. Certainly helps, if he's getting sex; he'll keep giving you presents, if he thinks it makes you happy.
Sometimes money and gifts are payment to cover his guilt, or to get what he wants. Buying you things is also bribery; a means to distract you from what's shady, and going-on right-up under your nose! He got her pregnant while with you. That means they've been together and having sex behind your back; and had she not gotten pregnant, he would have probably continued cheating. The confession is forced, he has no choice but to tell you! If he hadn't, I bet she would have found a way to tell you!
Sweetheart, this is a case of...you don't see what you don't want to see! That's because you do believe you love him.
She may be one of other females he has been messing-around with while he was with you.
"... I should move on because he's scared they'll ask him to marry the lady and I'll be disappointed later..."
That's excellent advice. This woman may have been his fiancé all along.
In any case, now she's his baby's mama. That comes with drama, competing for his time and attention; and she is not going to let him off the hook. She is pregnant with his baby, and that links them together for many years to come; with or without marriage. She will make it her mission to be a thorn in your side; because he knocked her up! You pose a threat and deterrent to his fulfilling his responsibility for what he's done. He has changed her life, and her future.
Prepare to give him up. He has already informed you that he might not be able to just walkaway from this situation.
You are very young, so it will not be an easy thing to do. You will suffer heartbreak; but your youth is to your advantage. You're more resilient that a woman much older; and first-loves are the toughest to lose.
I don't recommend taking anymore money or gifts. They should now go to his child. You may do the contrary, and ignore this advice. You'll learn that there is nothing like baby-mama drama. Any way you slice it; she has the upper-hand.
Time to grow-up, and face reality.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2021): "I still love him deeply and want us together, please tell me what to do"If you want to stay together then continue exactly what you've been doing: Being a doormat with such little self-esteem that he is willing to keep you around as an expensive-but-easy-and-convenient lay while feeling free to walk all over you as he fucks/knocks up any other stray chick who is as dumb, delusional and/or desperate as you to fall for his line because he knows he will suffer zero consequences for his actions. Until he grows tired of you and then he won't.As a guy old enough to be your grandfather I want gently and kindly say "C'mon, his dick can't be THAT big for you to be willing to put up with his BS!" Even given your self-absorption, neediness, vanity, lack of morality and overall low standards there's still thousands of hunks-of-flesh-attached-to-a-penis out there who'd be willing to wine-dine-and-fuck you on a regular basis while managing to NOT behave like a pig otherwise.Seriously, self-respecting women do not EVER let men disrespect them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2021): If he had really fallen for you too there wouldn't be a pregnant female in the mix. He knows full well he will give it a go with the other woman, YOU will just end up being the side chick, if you wasn't already, I suspect you was.
Do yourself a massive favour and cut him off, he has shown his true colours, he is not good enough for you.
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A
male
reader, Dragonslayer  +, writes (24 April 2021):
Well, you have to know your worth in these situation. Most men will give subtle clues if they are being unfaithful. I am sure he was see the "side chick" for a while and got her pregnant! You have to figure out why he cheated and what type of relationship did they have. Meaning did he cheat because he was scared of being fully committed. Did he cheat because his sexual needs weren't being met. Did he he simply cheat because he could and thought he could get away with it. What type of relationship did they have? Are they coworker or colleagues, mutual friends, did they meant on a site.
Now the hard truth, 1. I am pretty sure they have been messing around together behind your back. 2. He didnt care enough about your sexual health to wear a condom. 3.He only told you after he got her pregnant and when he cheat! He only told you because he knew he would get caught eventually or the "side chick" probably threaten to tell you! 4. He will cheat again! If he cheated and you goes arent in "serious" relationship like engaged or ever discuss a future together. You guys are still casual dating! 5. There are probably other women that you dont know about 6. Even if best case scenario everything works out, you will never be able to trust him and that simply fact alone will ruin any possible future together. 7. The baby mama or "side chick" will always be part of your life which will always be a constant reminder of his cheating! 8. I am sure the "side chick" wants him and more than likely he will end up with her just for simplicity, but that relationship probable wont last.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 April 2021):
 He didn't impregnate someone "mistakenly" - HE had unprotected sex while CHEATING on you.
You are so young to waste your time on a cheater and soon-to-be dad with another woman.
Whether he marries her or not, is up to him. Another choice HE will make WITHOUT thinking of you.
Move on. You can love someone and NOT be right for each other and HE is not right for you.
Find someone who can and will be faithful.
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