A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have known eachother for years. We finally started a relationship that was almost 2 years now. I took a break I wanted it. It didn't feel like a break at all. We were still sleeping together. He wasn't giving me space. So I started to ignore him. it went on for about a month and then we began talking again. It felt different like he was distracted. on a friday I went to pick up some of my things from his place. I wanted to be with him so bad. I didn't know what to do. Sunday I texted him. I wanted him back. and I needed to tell him. Monday I found out that friday night he went out with a girl. A girl he had been talking to for about two weeks. I was heart broken. I went to his place we talked things out. We ended up making out and almost having sex. But I didn't let it get that far. A week after texting...he tells me he wants to be with her. So he lied to me and used me. They were together for 3weeks and he had sex with her 5 times. He didn't like her, regretted what he had done. He just figured out too little too late what everyone had been trying to tell him. He broke things off with her. And we reconciled. Then she told him she was pregnant. He wanted nothing to do with her. And told her if she has the baby or not he will never be with her. The sad thing is she was on drugs and drinking while she was pregnant and didn't tell him until he broke up with her and wanted me back. She got an abortion. And we are still trying to work things out. I love him. I never said it when we were together. He told me. But I had a problem with saying it aloud. I was litterally sick when I learned he slept with her that first friday night he saw her...for the first time even! And he didn't pull out right away because he was too drunk and high. That's how she got pregnant. The first time. All others he used protection.He is with me now. And he doesn't do drugs when he is with me he doesn't even talk to his friends any more. The girl is out of his life. Its been about two months. We cry about it all the time. Every day. we love eachother and I want to try and have a relationship with him. Its just really depressing. I even think about the times we were together and the condom broke or he didn't pull out...and I never got pregnant and it makes me sad even more :(But I told my mom and she says she does not want me seeing him. And I am very respectful to my family so its really hard. its hard because this is a lot to get over...and.then I don't want to soaping my mom either. I'm just so sad. Its so disgusting and tragic but we both love eachother so much. Him more than me now...he feels.bad about hurting me he started going to counseling and wants me to join him. What should I do? I love him. My heart is still broken up by this.I don't want to let my mom down though.Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): Hey its me the girl who asked the queston.Just a little more info.The girl is into parties and drugs she wanted the abortion. He didn't he wanted to take responsibility but she kept doing drugs. He told her to straighten out and tell her parents. She did and still decided on the abortion. She was drinking and snorting cocain and aderall during the abortion. She wasn't a girl you'd feel sorry for. I was upset she even had the abortion. I tried talking to her about it but she said things and did things...that no young women should do pregnant.My boyfriend used to do drugs. I'm being honest. So did I. drink and smoke weed. I stopped a long time ago. He then stopped too. I didn't make him. During our break he was really sad and hurt and that's what he turned to. He told me the truth. But I still don't want to hurt my moms feelings.As for the std test. We use protection. And we both got tested before engaged in intercourse. Which we haven't and he's fine with that since he has to earn my trust back.He has lost my trust but he is doing everything he can to get it back. He knows I'm unhappy because of everything and my mom.He has called her and talked to her. I just hope my heart can heal from this.Any comments or questions are welcome. My whole story is complicated but I'm willing to elaborate more.
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (2 June 2012):
''he doesn't do drugs when he is with me'' so you mean he does drugs? you can do far better, a guy on drugs who doesnt use condoms and puts your health at risk is not good news. try to find it in yourself to move on -alone x
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (30 May 2012):
 I hope that you have went and had an STI check up. Okay so he never cheated on you as you where broken up, but I feel sorry for the girl that was caught up on this mess, yes it takes two but she fell pregnant which is unfortunate, but he should have lived up to his responsibility, what scares me is you say it makes you sad that you never fell pregnant, but he is not ready for responsibility and you should could yourself lucky you never fell pregnant because I highly doubt he would do the right thing in fact he would probably run. Just think how this poor girl felt having to go through an abortion on her own, she has to live with that for the rest off her life, she probably done it because she knew the babies father would not be there. Its sad. He should feel really guilty about what he done and he needs to become a man.
I agree with your mother I don't blame her for worrying. He chose her over you, so in the future who is to say he will not do it again. Off course this is your decision to make nobody elses.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (30 May 2012):
 Good lawd. This is a no brainer!
You "love him so much'. For heavens sake, WHY?
He used you; he used this other unfortunate girl and was not prepared to take responsibility for a child he might have fathered by her!
You say he's not doing drugs when he is with you. What about when he ISN'T with you?
He sounds thoroughly irresponsible, and my dear young lady, YOU need to have more self-esteem and DUMP his sorry self without further delay!!
Your Mother is rightly concerned for you.
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