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My boyfriend gets mad because I never have anything to talk about!!!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 July 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, *han14 writes:

My boyfriend gets mad because I never have anything to talk about!!! When were on the phone and we have a good conversation he asks me what do I want to talk about and I always say I don't know because I really don't have anything to talk about. I need help!!!!

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A female reader, Shan14 United States +, writes (19 July 2007):

Shan14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Shan14 agony auntThanx everybody for your help!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007):

Man I Know Whats With That! MY Boyfriend Is The EXACT Same Way! I Never Get It I Try And Talk About Stuff But Then It's Always A Short Topic Or He Ends Up Saying No I Dont Wanna Talk About That. It Sucks I Hear Ya Sister!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (18 July 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntWatch the news everyday, read an interesting book, google stuff on the internet, not only will these activities give you lots to talk about, they will widen you horizons. But do this for yourself and not your boyfriend.

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (18 July 2007):

stina agony auntHi there Shan,

You boyfriend shouldn't get mad that you don't have anything to talk about, especially if you've both just finished a good conversation. People don't always need to be talking nonstop. (I actually find that quite annoying - people who constantly yammer on and on...)

If he's angry that you have nothing to talk about, either he could talk about something or you both could hang up the phone. Good relationships don't always involve talking with one another. The silent times should be just as good as the one filled with conversations if you two have a healthy relationship.

Have you asked him why it bothers him so much that there are silent periods? Does he think you're getting bored with him or something? Maybe he has self confidence issues so he always thinks he has to be involved in a conversation to get attention? I don't know. But I do know that it's not worth it to get angry over something like this.

Next time he gets angry, I would just tell him that you'll talk to him later. (I really don't see the point in having a forced conversation. Then you end up feeling like having a conversation with your partner is a chore, rather than something fun. Talking with your partner should be an enjoyable experience!)

BTW - how long have you been with this guy? If it hasn't been for long, are you sure you'll be able to put up with his nagging and anger issues?

If you've been with him for a while, it's only natural for people to have more quiet times. It's a sign that you're comfortable with one another.

Besides that - some people are just better at being listeners. That's how I am. (I *hate* talking on the phone! I'd rather just get together with people and go do something fun. Maybe you're the same way?) There's nothing wrong with it, despite what your boyfriend seems to think. Perhaps you need to find someone who meshes better with your personality. You shouldn't have to change your personality for anyone.

Take care.

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