A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is 3 years older than me we've been together for 4 years and lived together for 3 years. He's very sweet and always compliment me and tell me I'm beautiful. His problem is that he likes to flirt and I know its harmless but its getting on my nerves lately. One day we ran into one of his female friends she's 2 years older than him...they gave each other quick kiss on the lips before hugging each other after we left I ask him why he kissed her on the lips? he said cause it makes her feel good about herself and it puts her in a good mood whenever he kissed her like that. He goes to College and when he came home he complains about this hot chick in his class dating a nerdy looking guy and he just don't understand what she sees in him, he also said they flirt whenever he's not around. His female friends would send pictures of them selfs to his cell if they have a cute outfit on or they recently have a boob job done, they will talk for hours and hours to a point that its getting on my nerves. I don't do this kind of stuff I don't send pics of myselfs to any of my male friends or call them to talk for hours cause I'm always busy with work and making sure we eat good everyday :). Just recently he came to pick me up from work and he saw this one guy gave me a hug....he freaked out..get out of the truck walk straight at us and introduce himself without even smiling, he crap me by my arm and turned me around...I was so embarrassed. I acted like everything is ok so I walk back with him...we got into a huge fight about it that day he said he can tell that guy wants to f*** me and that I don't need to trust men cause thats all they wanted from me is s**. I ask him what about his female friends? he said they are just friends and he would never date them or even go near sleeping with them cause he's not attracted to them. Now his female friends still call and texted him non stop...he still flirts in front of my face and I only have female friends..... they all told me to leave him. He spend all his free time on the phone flirting while I clean and cook for him...I don't understand why these women like to chat with him instead of their husbands or boyfriends, I feel left out sometimes.I broke up with him before for a week and we got back together cause I felt bad for him crying and calling me everyday begging me to come back, even his sister and mom came to tell me he loved me...now I think he's taking me for granted, now he's back to his old self again...is there anyone deals with the same situation??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 July 2013):
 Men in happy relationships don't go outside for more "action" or ego boosts. Your boyfriend is holding a double standard. So what if a guy hugs you, YOU are the one who is entitled to tell him off if he gets too close. You are not your boyfriends possession, he doesn't get to decide who you hang out with or hug or not. You decide that. YOU determine whether someone is bad news or not. You're an adult, not a 13-year old. And he's not your dad. Not to mention he kisses friends on the lips and hugs them, without checking with you if they are "approved" as friends first.
If you don't get to decide who you hug and don't hug, then he doesn't get to decide either. Meaning you can grab him by his hand and jank him away if he tries to kiss his friends on the lips, and then have a go at him for being naive... See how he feels about that.
Look, you broke up once before, and I am sure you had your reasons. Now you're back because you pitied him, but thats no good reason to be with him as all the old problems are still there, and now he doesn't even take you seriously.
Stop acting like his maid, don't cook and clean for him. He's a grown man, let him do his own dirty laundry. Have a serious talk about this and resolve the problems, or end the relationship. This can't carry on like it is.
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