A
female
age
41-50,
*abgirl1
writes:hi,I have a boyfriend,we just got back together after a long time apart.We broke up originally because of lack of sex and other issues,particularly abuse in his childhood.I love him very much.However the sex is still a problem.We sleep in the same bed every night but hardly ever have sex and he is not very affectionate.After being together like this for 4 months,we have had sex only 4 times.I try to be patient but I end up going crazy and getting huffy and yelling at him.I feel terribly insecure and am so eager to be close to him,but end up pushing him away with my upset/frustration.I have even developed an unhealthy obsession with his masturbation habits as he seems to always do it in the bathroom just before bed.It's like,I am in bed waiting for him and want to make love but he has already satisfied his needs and would rather watch a DVD!I am just getting more and more obsessed with sex and more and more frustrated.We have a lovely relationship apart from that,and being "friends" for the past few years didn't work.He won't attend therapy and me pushing him to is not a good reason.Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): heyy..its ok to have sex aftr days..but if ur husband is masterbating instaed of cuming to bed...den ur at fault..!!,make him feel you want it with him,give him sum hint b4 time..try to be noughty,whenevr you guys have sex please him at your most...so that he somes to you the next time rather going to bathroom alone..:)
A
female
reader, kit_e_kat +, writes (11 July 2007):
 I know it must be difficult as you say you have a good relationship and friendship doesn't work. But he doesn't seem to even eant to try to satisfy your needs. Talk it throuh with him. If this still doesn't work you give him the ultimatum and tell him you are going to leave. You may be thinking to yourself that there maybe other things apart from sex that keep your relationship going and it seems a lame excuse to break up with a person. But think about do you really love this person, and if you are even thinking in the long term about being with him you gotta remember how often in that time he will satisfy your needs. It isnt selfish to want to be satusfied and his childhood experiences are obviously the thing making him not want to have intercourse too often rather than it being anything to do with you or your abilities in bed, so don't feel insecure. but tell him that what he is doing is making you feel this way ok, there is no way you can sort this out by not telling him what effect this is having on you.
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Talk to him. Tell him that you have needs too! It isn't fair that you save yourself for him, but he'd rather masturbate. If he doesn't understand this, you should simply leave him. If he doesn't even want to satisfy you, if he doesn't think of your needs, then he doesn't deserve to have you.
When I was dating a girl, I would always do what I could to satisfy her. I was "keen" so to speak. Anytime she wanted to do it, we would do it, and that's the way it should be. Keeping in mind, sometimes us guys don't want to do it, and if we don't that should be repected too. However, to leave you hanging on for Sex for months at a time while he'll happily pull himself off in the bathroom is pretty pathetic.
You've waited long enough in my eyes, and if he doesn't start satisfying your needs, and quick, he should lose you.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Hi babe, tell him how you feel, if you have already told him how you feel, and he stil doesnt understand and isnt satisfying you, then you need a new partner chick. I hope i helped, & good luck. Mail me if you would like to talk x x
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