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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hi I'm writing because I'm very, very unhappy in my relationship!he won't have sex with me!! in two months!!! and I don't want to cheat should I stay or leave him? I've been with my partner now for two year when we met he said that he wanted to change his "street"lifestyle and want a family so that did happen and now we have a seven month old daughter named Honest. Lately things just has been falling apart he doesn't show any kind of interest in me, he calls me all type of belittling self-esteem dropping names and he says no matter how I try to look attractive for him it's not never going to work. I just want to say that I know i look good as hell perfect butt smile that shines with dimples long hair. I just wonder is it me or could he be cheating? I just know I can't and won't let someone stay with me if their heart is not in it. I love him but he is becoming unbearable, direspect and never tried to work at all I was the bread winner what should I do? HELP!!!!!!!!!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): sounds familiar...my boyfriend started some anti-dpressant meds and says that it effects him sexually, but when i look back over the last two years, hes done this before. there was usually something going on behind my back he wasnt telling me. not cheating as far as i know, but taking illeigal drugs, sneaking an ex girlfriend over,or just being sneaky. ive been told he cant stay faithful from other people, but i just keep trying. he belittles me too, and says awful things about my 10 yr.old, that i brought baggage into this relationship, but he knew i had a child. he called me fat so i lost a grip of weight, yet im still fat to him. he lost his job and apt. due to his temper and i took him in, now he acts like he runs the houehold and i cant get rid of him...so, i would run as fast as i could the other direction because apparently hes just not that into you anymore...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): I believe he is cheating on you because if he is becoming disrespectful and doesn't want to have sex he defenetly is having it with someone else because a man is a man!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): hi hunny my name is mandy. im having almost the same kind of problem he dont wanna have sex with me ither but i know that hes not cheating because im with him all the time and i know that i look really good too but i dont know ither what to do i feel like im nothing o him and sex is big for me i love it and expescialy with him i mean hes not a god but i realy wouldnt know anymore its like he never wants me ither i light candles and put on tv and try and try and never get it and when i do its like he just ither lays there or acts like he wants it to be over with... so dont get down just know that your not the only one....
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Hun, there could be a whack of reasons why he won't have sex with you. It can range from complacencey/boredom in the relationship to cheating right down to a medical problem such as ED (erectile dysfunction) due to stress or medical problems. Sometimes when men have ED problems they become embarrassed, despondent and do lash out at their partner. If you think your self-esteem is low-his has likely hit rock bottom, as a result. This is unfair, yes, but it does happen. And I agree, you need to tell him that verbal lobs at you will not be tolerated. You tell him, ot's time to talk, maturely, lovingly and calmly. This is why the communication, the reaching out is sooo important. You both have a child together and it's crucial you both talk and get this issue hashed out. Your lovely child deserves to have a happy Mom and Dad, and an intact family. We don't just get rid of someone, because of problems that could be easily resolvable. You need to finds out 'why' and he needs to be loving by being honest and telling you.
I think you both owe it to your beautiful little daughter to keep trying. She deserves a happy, solid future with her Mom and Dad. I would recommend finding a good couples counselor and/ or family therapist or pastoral counselor. Visit your family doctor and ask for referrals. Begin there. There is some anger and meaness directed at you and he needs to overcome this. It will take some work and big efforts on both your parts, but there is many a good, loving relationship that has been saved by counseling. Get some help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): Talk to him. Ask him just exactly what is going on. Find out what is in his head and why he is this way. There must be a reason! Get him to open up. If things are going down hill then ask him what he thinks will put things back on tract. But don't take this verbal abuse. If it doesn't get better then i think you will have to look to getting rid.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): My ex was exactly the same, in the end I left as I couldn't put up with his nasty comments and his bad attitude. Looking back now as many years have since past, I realise that he was jealous of the attention, love and affection I was showing to my baby.You'd think he'd be happy because it was his baby too,but no. He couldn't deal with it,he was so insecure and childlike himself. Give it one last shot and try and have some time away together without the baby. See if this works and make sure that this is a regular thing, you spending time alone just with him. If this doesn't improve things, well then you should consider leaving.
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Hi Anon, Not good news I'm afraid! Nobody should be disrespectful to anyone especialy their partner and he seems to be verbally abusive! Hopefully he's not physically abusive! This is besides the fact that he no longer wants to have sex with you which is obviously not making you happy! I suggest that you sit down and have a really serious talk to him. Explain exactly how you're feeling and what he's doing wrong that will force you to move away for your own happiness and safety. If he agrees to cool it and respect you do this under one condition that you both go and see a family counsellor and work through the issues. The longer you stay in this relationship without doing anything the worse it will get. Stay in touch... Good luck and lots of courage! Dagwood
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): WOW you are putting up with alot try asking him what the problem is? having a bad atmosphere around will have an effect on your baby i should no i have been in a situation like that. i think you should finish it if not for yourself then for your baby girl. im sure she would rather have two happy parents that are apart then two unhappy parents together. try talking to him to resolve this matter confrontation is the way to go. and no matter what he or anyone else say DONT let him put you down to make himself feel better always remember you are beautiful and can do better.
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