A
male
 ,
*kintooth4
writes:Okay so my girlfriend has been home for the past month due to Christmas break. She and I have been dating for almost a year. I truly love this girl but since she's been gone she's been very distant. She doesn't call and when I'm lucky enough to get her on the phone she doesn't talk much.I was trying my hardest not to let this get to me but I had enough after the first week and a half. I told her I felt forgotten and that I should get some type of conversation from her whether it be texts or an actual phone call. She said I was right and sort of changed her ways. We talked everyday for the next 4 days but then no more contact. I've texted her and called her everyday and no responses. We got into a fight the other day when I tried to tell her again about how I felt forgotten. She said she had a right to time with her friends and that I should respect that and let her be. So in response to that I haven't talked to her in the past 48 hours, I'm thinking about giving her a taste of her own medicine. Is this the right thing to do or should I be the "better man" and call her despite the way she's treating me.Sorry its long
View related questions:
christmas, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): It's ok to be upset if you never speak but she has a point too. If she's home on Christmas break she has a lot of people demanding her time and naturally she wants to catch up with all types of people that she hasn't spoken to in a while. You're sounding a little clingy in your view. Maybe you should just ask her to send you a message or call you briefly every day just to tell you she's ok and having a good time because you miss her when you don't get to speak.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): she has a right to time with her friends and as a partner you shoul allow her that.
but from what youve said she oviously has no respect for your needs either. calm it down a bit, back off her, stop calling her and go out with your mates. with luck she'll realise that she has to work in a relationship too... if not at least youve learnt how to have fun without her around.
...............................
A
male
reader, lboy  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 dear reader,
i think that you may be getting a bit clingy with this girls she's right she is entitled to some time alone withher friends, don't forget the first rule of a relationship is that your friends come first. just give her some friends time and she will be ok with you from now on, just trust her and try to have some fun with your friends that will keep your mind off of feeling distant.
good luck
lboy
xxx
...............................
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (16 January 2007):
You are entitled to feel the way you feel, and she is entitled to feel the way she does. She is entitled to her freedom and independance within the relationship, you are entitled to a certain level of communication and keeping in touch to nurture your bond with her. So how do you both get what you want when they are opposites. Here are some options for you to decide:
1. How about, instead of being concerned with what you want, why don't you consider what the other person wants. If she wants to be with her friends and not have to think about you for a few days, is that the end of the world? You could consider giving it to her, by letting her have it her way. She may appreciate it.
2. Reach a compromise. Tell her that you are prepared to give her the space she wants if she is prepared to be considerate to what you want, and stay in touch a reasonable amount.
3. Ask yourself why you spend your time sitting around thinking about her, when there is a world to explore and other people to hang out with. You got friends? Go visit them!! Do something interesting with your life while she is away, perhaps you could follow her example and be fun and independant too, without having to worry about what she is doing.
You don't need to give her a taste of her own medicine. Yes, maybe she is being insensitive by not agreeing to your request, which is not an unreasonable one, but maybe she is entitled to her point of view too. Something for you to discuss when she gets back. You don't need to be the better man either. The point is, if you want to call her, call her, but if she is distant, don't let it make you feel insecure, you are ok without her, really you are. Go out and have a good time, enjoy the holidays! Be happy without her, and then when she gets back, be even happier.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Well I suggest you be strong and don't call her. She obviously has some issue right now and giving her the space (at least 2 weeks) will show that you're confident and secure with yourself and that you desire her to be in your life but don't need her! Go out with friends, have a good time. Let her breath and think. She'll probably come back within a few weeks and if not the issue will come out in the end. Forcing it and pressurising her will definitely not help. Be strong man! Cheers Dagwood
...............................
|
