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female
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*ngelnva
writes: I have been with my live-in boyfriend for 6yrs. He is a DJ. I knew this going into the relationship.I found out his pin# to his cell phone and found saved msg. from other women. He stated they are just friends or business assoc. But now he is very upset with me and was on the border line of leaving. He said that he is not going to leave, but I'm afraid he won't trust me again. I know I was wrong and stated sorry too many times to count. I know I betrayed his trust. But what can I say to let him know I will not do this again and help get over his anger? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2005): It sounds to me like your boyfriend is playing games,if you have said sorry and hes still being like that then hes not worth it.trust your intincict
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2005): You may not be able to help him forgive you, and get over his anger. There are some mistakes that terminate relationships. However, if he truly loves you, he will forgive you, and over time, will learn to forget about this lapse in trust. He's in a business that draws women to a DJ like bees go to new flowers. You knew that when you met him. If you are not at his side several times a week to help him fend off the women, you should not be surprised that he gets all kinds of messages from them, and is propositioned by them, in person, and by phone, or text. Its part of the business. Flirting is almost required for his job. The women who come night after night draw the guys, who spend the money, that pays the bills. After 6 years, don't you already know if he intends to stray? If that was settled, why the snooping? There may be more to this than you have said, and I suggest you have a quiet conversation with him. Explain why you did what you did. And apologize again. Every couple goes through some hard times, and has to re-evaluate why they got together in the first place, and why they value each other now. Do it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2005): DONT be sorry. He should only react like that if he's hiding something. It's not a matter or distrust these days as modern technology makes it much easier for people to lie and its not that you suspected anything its just that you were curious. Just rationalise it. You've been together 6 years and if this is the first time you've ever checked his phone (firstly bravo) and secondly if you really love each other then it will blow over. Hope this helps.
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