A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can't tell if my boyfriend wants to hang out with me or not. Pretty much weve been together for almost a year, and until now we were both at diffrent colleges two hour driving distance away; so this is the first time we are together in the same place for long periods of time. So this is very exciting for the both of us. Since we have had a lack of seeing each other during the year, I want to spend a lot of time with him, and he says he feels the same. But I cant help but feel that I may be coming on too strong with wanting to see him so much. He's never really turned me down to hang out he just never really asks me to do anything I always ask him. In the past (when we would be together for a weekend) we'd have problems where he would kind of choose his friends first. Dont get me wrong hed always invite me to hang out with them as a group, and I could bring a friend of mine, but it always felt like he never wanted to spend time alone. Now that he is back its kind of the same thing. So I stopped asking him to hang out and would wait for him, and when he wouldnt really ask I would get mad. I would confront him and he would just say "well why didnt you ask to do something, if you wanted too?" This makes sense, but I cant be the only one making the effort, and I mean I know he says he does not get annoyed and wants to hang out just as much as I do, I still feel like I'm the only one that really wants to see him.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 May 2012):
 I agree with YouWish... it sounds very much like he's not as into you as you are into him.
While this will be painful I suggest you stop rowing your relationship boat. Stop making the effort to plan things. Stop contacting him. Yes you run the risk of the relationship fading away but it's what you need to know...
Wait and see if he's been coasting in the relationship and if he steps up his game if you don't make all the effort.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 May 2012):
 It's possible that he's not as into you as you are into him. Maybe it's because you're there and so available to him that he's used to you always asking and making the plans.
Maybe you should get busier in your own personal life. If he wants to see you, he'll make an effort. If you find out that he's just not that interested, best to know this before you get too invested in it.
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (8 May 2012):
I could say you just have different communication styles and ideas about what constitutes a relationship but that wouldn't be tackling the issue.
The issue is: you are keener on him than he is on you, and you feel neglected. So you either go on feeling neglected or you find someone who wants the close rapport that you do, and who makes you feel really special.
That is it, in a nutshell.
Good luck and take care. x
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