A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since two years. It is mostly a long distance thing. Previously, like every relationship it used to be very romantic, but now it seems the spark is gone. He is no longer romantic, he no longer sings to me like he used to previously (as music is one of his hobbies) , he does not take interest in my likings or those things which make me happy, he has changed. When I talked about this to him, he said every relationship has this problem and we need to mature after sometime. But I still want to keep our relationship alive and cheerful. I never felt the need to change. When I am having problems and cry my heart out, all he says now is don't cry for stupid reason, just move on. And he is being brutally honest recently. As it is a long distance relationship I have tried every possible way to make time for ourselves like video calling, asking him to watch a movie at the same time, sending him pics of what Im doing. But he does not reciprocate it the same way as me, it is rather a cold response from him. He says he loves me a lot and he does not need to prove it. And that I am being too selfish and trying to seek attention. I give him his space, I do not disturb him while he is at work, or taking rest or chilling all by himself. I am used to him not giving me the importance that I expect from him, but now it is starting to feel unbearable. Now I do not feel like sharing anything with him, thinking he will not respond and that will make me mad. Everytime I try talking to him regarding this, he says it's all your mind playing games with you, we both know we love each other and nothing else is needed. That's the end of conversation and I'm not able to express myself any further and he is not ready to listen any more. So it ends up staying with me. Also we have almost zero sex life because he does not want it, and I'm still ok with that decision of his. Also we never talk for hours because we both are busy with our work. Also we hardly video call, because he is busy most if the time and hanging out with his friends. I'm ok with that too. But what is hurting me is his brutal honesty and indifference. Please help.
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at work, long distance, move on, sex life, spark Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2019): OP, it is time that you be brutally honest with your LDR! He does not care about your feelings, your emotional and romantic needs, and certainly not your sexual needs! It really sounds like you are with the wrong man! I suggest that you end this LDR, and that you meet a man, where you live. Have a normal dating relationship and you can start a good sexual relationship, to satisfy the womanly needs as often as you would like! Btw, LDRs almost never work out, in the long run, so you should really cut your losses now, and meet a nice man, to make love with. You will feel your heavy burden lifted plus sex will make you feel like a brand new woman. Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2019): OP, LDRs are nothing more than a joke, and most often, a very bad joke! The man you are in this LDR with, does not understand the needs of a woman, nor does he know the first thing about true love, and how to show love! Love is not just some understood abstract feeling, rather it is a feeling that is made known to the object of our affection, with demonstable actions on our part! I am sure that you know the saying, that actions speak louder than words. Well the saying is true! Unless we love enough to demonstrate it thru our behavior and actions, love is just a spoken word, which means absolutely nothing! Further, your guy does not even see the need to speak the word, regularly! How can one assume, only, that another person loves us? Then, you would like a sex life, but your boyfriend does not want the same! My advice is to end this relationship. Then meet somebody new, get to know them, to love them, then have the hands on physical loving relationship, which you long to have, with a man! Blessings OP!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for responding. Will give it a thought??
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (23 August 2019):
 Sweetheart, listen to me. What are you GETTING from this relationship? Your post contains a long list of things you are NOT getting. The only thing you ARE getting is anxiety and dissatisfaction and pain.
It takes TWO people to make a relationship work. Your boyfriend made an effort at the beginning but now thinks he has you hooked so no longer needs to put ANY effort into the relationship. If you feel able, try to NOT initiate contact to see what happens. My guess is you will not hear from him for a VERY long time.
Why are you clinging onto the dying embers of this relationship so tightly? You cannot make this work on your own.
I know it will be painful to walk away but not half as painful, in the long run, as clinging onto something which is already dead in the water.
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