A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How can I get my bf to have more foreplay with me before sex? The way he normally has sex and even goes down on me is kind of "straight to the point" with very little kissing or teasing. Its very hard for me to actually climax during oral because he just starts licking me right away and expects that I'm going to cum within 2 minutes (sometimes he doesn't even undress, he'll just pull my pants down and start doing it). I also think its causing me not to be very wet before penetration. We have to use lube every time whereas I never had to do that with anyone else before him. I'm wet on the inside but not on the outside making it really difficult for him to get in. He's had a lot of partners before me and apparently never had issues like he has with me. They always climaxed during oral and he would slide right inside them. What's wrong with me then? I did tell him that I needed more foreplay but I don't think that he likes doing it.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (7 February 2012):
 Nothing wrong with you, the guy is crap at sex and he's either lying about his partners or a lot of women have been lying to him. How do we know, because good lovers like lots of foreplay, and most women won't get wet if you approach them and treat them like that.
Next time tell him you want to play and game, and then tie up his hands so he can't move. Then give him all the foreplay he can stand, and when he starts crying give him some more. Make him take a long time to orgasm. Then explain about the importance of taking time over foreplay to make the sex more successful. I usually find taking control like this and showing guys what I like by doing it to them first, concentrates their mind a lot and gives them something to copy. (Don't usually need to tie them up first, but your guy makes me angry)
The next time you and him start making love, everytime he tries to go for your crotch, shout STOP, "I got breast, ears, legs and other parts of me that need attention first." Tell him exactly where to touch and how. Shout STOP everytime he wants to hurry and get you on your back. If he will not co-operate then stop sex immediately.
Telling him your not having fun, he is rushing so much to get his orgasm that he's forgetting that sex means pleasing a woman too. Don't allow him to start penetration until you are properly pleased. And yes he is right, the other women probably didn't complain, they just left and got someone else.
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (7 February 2012):
 Tell him that what he's doing now just isn't working. Doesn't he know that women are not all the same?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): He sounds like a bad lover for you at least and not very sensual. Tell him you need more foreplay, longer oral, more touching, kissing and so on to get aroused enough for intercourse. He should bring you to orgasm with oral before intercourse to be very wet.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): most girls need foreplay. some girls need extra foreplay. some girls even enjoy foreplay more then sex itself. nothing wrong with that.
but some girls think of foreplay as the man's duty. as the price he has to pay for the sex. that's boring and the guy will lose interest.
make sure he enjoys the foreplay too, and he will do it as long as you want it.
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A
female
reader, Zebramoose +, writes (6 February 2012):
He's probably lying about his past "success". It sounds like he's lazy and/or selfish with this sort of thing.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (6 February 2012):
 Well, at least he is willing to give oral, but a "couple of minutes" is hardly enough. In my experience, it takes a good 10-15 minutes to get a woman's juices flowing. And I agree that foreplay before that is best. But I don't know how you can get him to do it. Perhaps a 69-activity might help. Or promise a great blow job if he gives you more oral attention, along with a G-Spot rub. Also have him read some of my postings such as: "Double M on cunnilingus" and "Double M on G-Spot" in the archives.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): Unfortunately there are men out there who don't like performing foreplay and just want to go straight to the point and finish.That's not the way to do it for females. And it is not easy to tell your partner that he is not doing it the right way for you. If his previous partners never complained to him about it, it doesn't mean that he never had such issues with him, It could be that they just never really confronted it. I think that you should talk to him about it in a subtle way. I mean, while having sex, you could tell him that you are guiding him for once. You could do it at your own pace..the right pace. You could guide his hand to touch you the way it pleases you..and while doing it you could whisper in his ear that that is the way you really love it and that he is doing great. In time, he would understand that if both of you are mutually satisfied, you will both enjoy sex more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): There is nothing wrong with you. Every woman has different sexual needs. Maybe his previous girlfriends liked his lack of foreplay, but that doesn't mean that he should expect you to respond the exact same way. Besides, it's possible that they were faking the climax.
Tell him, again, what it is that you need. If he still won't do it, then he has no respect for your needs and you should kick him to the curb.
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